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Kafkamêsto


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Rating: 4.6/5 (40 votes)
Comments (82) | Views (11,195)

Kafkamesto"This town; my prison cell—my fortress."

A new offering through the Game On initiative, an organization to promote innovation in Australia's digital media industry, Kafkamêsto is an unusual and dark interactive narrative that will at first seem familiar to those acquainted with point-and-click adventures, but beware the futility in store.

It is mid-winter of the year 1922. You awaken from an uneasy dream somewhere in Prague, which—and not so coincidentally—is also the birthplace of Franz Kafka, one of the more influential writers of the 20th century. The piece appears to be a pastiche of Kafka's life and works, itself containing references to The Trial, The Castle, The Metamorphosis, and others. Collect what you can and embark on a nightmarish tale of hopelessness and self-discovery.

"Virtually unknown during his lifetime, the works of Kafka have since been recognized as symbolizing modern man's anxiety-ridden and grotesque alienation in an unintelligible, hostile, or indifferent world." [source]

If you are familiar with the themes that run through Kafka's literature and his life, then you won't be surprised by the feelings of absurdity, anxiety and anomie that this interactive narrative will evoke. If you're not familiar with Kafka nor desire to learn about him, then this 'game' is probably not for you. The over-arching narrative seems to be as much a statement about Kafka's own life as it is the themes he often wrote about.

From Smoking Gun Productions.

Play Kafkamêsto

Kevin is to blame for this one. =)

82 Comments

i dont get it...

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It's a strange one, that's for sure. Not your usual point-and-click adventure. By the way, if anyone is having trouble picking up items

you have to pick up the suitcase in his apartment first (you know, so he has somewhere to put stuff)...the suitcase can be found

next to his desk

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Finally found a game that is really challenging! To get even started you need to

deliver the letters to your neighbour.

But where on earth I can find Otto?

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Hey, this game is nice :D

You have to give milene something, then she will tell you what to do next.

(It's the cup)

Btw - finding Otto isn't necessary to finish this game :D

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PS.

And to finish the game - you don't even need to deliver mail to your neighbour :D. You just have to learn Kafka's priorities.

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hi, jay,

i've been stalking your site for sometime now, "wasting" time playing a lot of the games you've reviewed. as an educator, i've started to think about how i can integrate these games into teaching - so just wanted to say kudos! you've got a convert. if i ever get to teach kafka, this'd be a great game for the class.

anyway, i'm 87% sure you've seen this article, but if not, there's a nytimes article about the teaching of video game design in uni's. that's right up your alley, isn't it? ;)

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Cheers, Mina! =)

And no, I hadn't read the article yet. From my experiences at RIT, I believe it makes a fairly good assessment of where game design education is currently.

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There are multiple ways to "finish" this game. I've found 2, but they were not at all good. I'm not sure there is a "good" ending. Here are the things I did in one(this is not really a walkthrough, because it doesn't have HOW to do many things--I've done alot in the game, but not everything leads to completion. I'd like to see what others have done to complete the game):

1. Got mail from drawer in my room, and took it downstairs to return to mailbox #6(one of my letters was in #6, but don't know if it was necessary).

2. Hung up phone, and then answered it, then
closed phone "window" so that Frauline Burstner appeared.

3. Talked with Burstner, then followed her upstairs to her room.

4. Played phonograph(don't know if it was necessary), and after Burstner comments, took arm under bed, and letter in drawer(don't know if letter was necessary).

5. Got cup on dresser, punch card in desk drawer, and money in coat pocket, from my room.

6. Went to my office, and used punch card in punch machine; went through double-door and to my desk.
7. Got "quote" paper from file accordian in left drawer, left office and went to bar.

8. Gave bartender arm Frau. Burstner had, and then went through now-available back door.

9. Gave Herr Schmetterling quote paper, after talking with him.

10. Went back to bar and got liquor bottle from next to bartender.

11. Went to industrial worksite, and looked through keyhole in right door.

12. Talked with Melina then gave her cup.

13. Took cup and walked through right door; gave Otto cup, and then liquor.

14. Took book next to Otto, and went to Advocate office.

15. Gave Advocate's assistant money after talking with her, follower her into back room and talked with her again.

16. Went into Advocate's bedroom, and gave him book Otto gave me. Took castle admittance form next to him.

17. Took form to castle and gave it to guard.

18. Died of old age waiting.

In another try(actually earlier), after step 13, I looked in machinery room to Otto's far right, looked closer, got knocked out, awoke on the machine, and got tattoo-drilled to death.

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So my problem is that I never found Milena (or Milene or Melina) :(

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i just exploded into a cockaroach

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It's called metamorphosis, Kendrick. =)

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I enjoyed this one for a while, but gave up. A save feature would have kept me around a lot longer but, as written, this game is too tedious. Just like life, eh?

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Okay Notled, I never found my way to castle since couldn't find that Milena. But other (early) endings are of cource:

the metamorphosis at doctors reception as Kendrick experienced

or

suicide in the grave.

I finally quit for today (3 AM local time).

And thank you Jay for the best Flash game site I have ever seen. Though I noticed that it is originally more like blog. It was very interesting to read also some of your early notes and find how you started this all. I found your site just month ago.

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I have not completed the game a different way.

I did take the letter opener and use it on my desk drawer at the office and took the X-Rays. Then I looked at my planner, and on August 14th, clicked on the doctors note and took it. Went to the Doctor's office and gave the nurse the note. Went into door with doctor, gave him x-rays, and he gave me prescription. Went back to room, took pill bottle from under bed and went to pharmacy. Gave pharmacist prescription, then gave him pill bottle, and he gives it back to me filled up. He said take them immediately but I do not know how.
Anyone Figure this out?
Also, anyone figure out what to do with the key you find in the window sill of your room?
I don't like how you can "use up" your items by using them in the wrong place (prosthetic arm to the guy in the doctors office for example).

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jehosaphat November 22, 2005 8:07 PM

Help ! I don't know how to get out of the first room. It keeps telling me about impatience.

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Cheers, Amor Lassie. I'm glad you found it, as it's a pleasure having you around. =)

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Never mind, figured it out.....

you look at the bottle, then click on the cap and use it, but what next.....

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Just had to give one final glimpse before my bedtime...

Eraser, I believe that you discovered the only true ending :)

I just missed that doctors note since I didn't browsed the planner.

So you don't even need to see that Milena.

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Oh, sorry Eraser. I was so impatient to find my own way out of town that didn't realize that you didn't actually finished the game yet. So what you need to do is:

find your way to Argeles-Gazost

I mean:

the train station.

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Actually I ended up beating the game (good ending)

After you take the pills, get the train ticket from the desk (its in the drawer you open with the letter opener) Go to the train station, talk to the guy at the turnstyle. Then talk to the other train operator, and give him the ticket, and thats all

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oh man talk about being aggrevated. How do you find everything?!? im so confused going around the town. I keep ending up in the pharmacy.

I have found the doctors office, the advicate, the pharmacy (obviously), the castle, the grave yard, the closed travel agency, the bar, and i know how to get back to the apartment. Where is the worksite?! and anything else i might be missing?!?!?!

Please help me.

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Jen, I guess that 'worksite' refers to office? Here's how you can find it:

Turn left from the market place where these two men are standing. Click the end of the first street section. Then Click the first door on your right. You may have been in this place already. So you just need to find out how to get across the hallway.

But if you mean that mysterious 'industrial worksite' that Notled mentioned, then I can not help. And if it is the very same place, then I have missed some extra room as well in the office.

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Well. I just can't find doctor's office! doh!
I don't know if i've missed any streets but i always ended up in the pharmacy.

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I found the industrial worksite:

Two screens before the train station (and thus screen before the cold lady who tells you you can't even buy her love), to the left of the archway (there's a small orangecoloured,roundish door).




And after talking to Otto I accidently ended the game by being nosy:


In the right corner in his room there's another door ajar where you can sneak a peak. If you clock once more you get pulled into the room and jumped by a crazy person who kills you in a rather messy way...



...by tying you to a table and needlepoint "Avoid industrial accidents" into your back with very large spikes.

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The fastest way to solve the puzzle:

1. Drink medicine

Open the bottle by clicking on cap.

The pharmacy makes it for you

You need a bottle and prescription.

The bottle can be found in your room

The prescription you get from the doctor.

You need the appointment card and x-ray

2. Make train trip

Get ticket from your office

In drawer of desk

Open drawer with knife

3. Happy end

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Here's one practical advice for all who have had some problems to find their way out of the room or house in the first place:

Please notice that the size of the game is 13,5Mb. Therefore it is splitted in to sections that let you wander around the house while it is still loading the town views. You can leave the house as soon as the loading is finished.

Then thank you Amabile for revealing the access to 'industrial site'. Finally I found Milena! I have ta/ested the 'happy ending' but I would like to find out if:

Mr. K. can help Milena out of the town by giving the train ticket to her. That would be more like Joseph K. style. Not save his own ass.

Then I warmly recommend to pay a visit at kafka.org and find all the Kafka's stories that are mixed together in this game (In case that you don't allready know these stories). At kafka.org there are also 'Tramslations' into number of languages.

Finally I suggest that you read Janusz Kazmierczak's comment at Gameon: http://abc.net.au/gameon/kafkamesto/bts_asr.htm

I totally disagree since I believe that games are also significant form of art and source of joy. But I see Kazmierczak's comment as good wake up call for all game designers. There has to be good story behind the game so that it will achieve and remain it's success. Of course there are different genres in games as well, so all the games don't have to be some sort of 'epics' (like Pacman has proved). But you can make any type of game more vivid if you can ground it on the tradition of narration. Not only books! Movies and bedtime stories can do as well. The story is more important than the format! Moreover I challenge you to write (or tell) new stories since one day we wear out all the old ones.

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For anyone having trouble getting to the castle, there are a couple of screens where you can see it in the distance...on the horizon; If you can see it, you can click on it. Keep clicking on it until you get there.

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And who can believe that this game was created for just $30,000 Australian dollars....!? GameOn: Kafkamesto

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How do I find the bar? :)

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so is there any other way besides...

dieing of old age waiting for the law, or running away on the train?

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i believe "kazmierczak" is for the most time an invented identity designed for the purpose of that little discourse against gaming. try googling "janusz kazmierczak" and "Against Gaming: Huizinga and the Rise of Homo Loco"

nothing really comes up.

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and anyone know what to do with that

key?

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Cami, you are absolutely right. I also tried to find more information about this mysterious emeritus professor Kazmierczak, but could not find anything. This is the problem nowadays on Web. You simple can not trust on anything unless you find enough supportive evidence.

But let us treat this "Mr. Kazmierczak" as pseudonym. There's still a person (or persons) behind this claim. It may be just a little trick that try to promote the game in some inverse way by aggravating people like me to oppose these claims by "Kazmierczak".

So if it makes me (and hopefully also some other people as well) to find out more about Kafka and make more games like this, then "Kazmierczak's" text has done it's purpose. Even if that is not what Kafkamesto's team intented to do.

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Kendrick, based on what others have experienced (and me as well) there's at least five way to end this game:

Get buried in the graveyard, mutilated in the factory, get old and die by the castle, transformed into roach in the doctor's clinic or get out of the town.

I tried to help Milena but she don't:

accept job offer, train ticket, money, key, fancy underware.

And I don't know what to do with:

the key. I have tried to offer it to almost everyone and wandered around to find out if some new active spots would have been revealed, but no success.

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Carlamothy November 24, 2005 4:41 AM

Hey how do you make Joseph explode into a cockroach?

I love this game. I really liked Kafka's books and this is a fascinating interpretation.

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Man, I agree with Biff, this definitely needs a save mode. Espeically since you can make so many mistakes like give certain people the wrong thing and never be able to get them back. I liked this game, but kept failing at it so many times. Then I clicked on the chair in the doctor's office and inadvertently became a roach! <:( Great game, but it just has too much leeway for mistakes and too many things to do in a decent amount of time.

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Hey guys I am having some SERIOUS issues with this game. I cant figure out how to do anything. I cant get that girl to appear that someond said you caould do with the phone. I cant get into the castle the guard says somethin like he will let me in if I am there for the law. The advocate just askes me if I have read anygood books lately and thats it. The doctor just takes my pill bottle and then says he can not help me anymore if I keep acting the way I do. The Milena girl is nowhere to be found. And in the workplace all I can do is look down and see all the workers running around. Can someone please guide me in a direction. Thanks.

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Samatha, haven't you red the earlier spoilers? Especially Notled has uncovered in very detailed way how you find one of the endings that:

brings you as close to the castle as you are ever going to get in this game.

However, here's some tips that may help:
1) Finding the very small links, try all the doorways, door knobs and keyholes. Remember that some doors are not open until you have given the right object to the right person. Moreover you may loose your chance if you give them the wrong object. And in the office

you just have to find Josef K's office table. And Milenas location is already uncovered by Amabile.

2) Some of the characters gives you very detailed advices, some don't. You just have to find out what they want. But here is one advice for the doctor's:

You don't usually get medicine from the doctor's but prescriptions.

3) As far as I have understood the name of the game is to struggle, fail, wake again so that you can struggle some more until you have found most tolerable ending. therefore I was just happy that there is no possibility to save the game. It makes it more realistic. You don't have save mode in real life. If you want find the ending with applauds and congratulations, then you have to do what Brake revealed:

Make your self to look healty and just get out of the town.

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Before getting on the train you may want to take something.

To leave happy you need to take the postcard on the mirror in your room, before getting on the train. In the train he will look at it and smile!

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Griph, actually you don't need to do that. It is a clear inconsistence in this game. The other one is that some of the objects are returned to their original places, no matter where you drop them. It just don't make sence. It would be more logical if they just become lost or stolen if you drop them.

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This is the best flash game I've ever seen, a really good, summarized interpretation of Kafka's books and Kafka himself. If this game progressed in the way other point-and-click adventures did, I would be very disappointed, that's not Kafka's style at all. There are not-so-logical parts in the game, it is confusing and so on, but I still loved it. I ended up in the train by the help of this forum, many thanks to all of you!!
And anyone who knows a story-based point-and-click adventure like kafkamesto??

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Jay, there's something wrong with Kafkamesto's 'add to your favorites' feature. The icon for it is missing?

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Where do I find the appointment card?? Stuck

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can some one pleases write a walk through to this that explains everything clearly telling me where to get things and how to use them etc.
plz plz plz help me.
i may sound desperste but believe i am!!!
ive tried solving this like literally 1000 times but i just cant get it right!!!
my hair is falling out now so plz can some one write a walk through plz.
thakyou
from a very desperate
kitty
xxx

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Oh my gosh, this is really aggrivating, maybe I'm just incredible blind, or possibly too stupid to figure out the game, but I cannot find the place that he works at.

I've played the game several times, found several rooms (at different times) but can never find those rooms again.

I think I'm going to die of stress or compressed rage because of this game.

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Stumbled onto this site... I played this game several times and was able to find four of the endings - 1) escape 2) turn into a cockroach 3) die from "industrial accident" 4) escape.

To find the walkthrough I pasted, you can check out nordinho.net - it's on the 4th page of the discussion.

What did you do that make him commit suicide? And where is this famous key? I didn't even find it. Oh, and has anyone been able to turn into a mole?

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1.Pick up the case,give Frauline Burstner back her letters to the NO.6 mail box.Pick the phone,the talk to Frauline Burstner.Follow her to her room.Pick up a arm under her bed.Turn on the music,find your letter and out of her room.

2.Bring your knife and your work card to the office.Find the doctor appointment card,X-ray,and Herr Schmetterling's insurance quote.Go to the hospital,give the appointment card to the nurse.Give the X-ray to the doctor.Pick up the prescription on the table.

3.Give the insurance quote to Herr Schmetterling.Before you leave the bar,pick up the wine.Go to the pharmacy,give the prescription and the medicine bottle to the doctor.And use the medicine.

4.Bring the wine and the cup to the Otto's factory.Seek from the key hold,and talk to Melina.Give the cup to her,then keep it back.Talk to Otto,give the cup and the wine to him.Pick up the book,then leave.

5.Give the money to the assistance,she will bring you to see the advocate.Give the book to the advocate,pick up the letter.

From here,I don't know how to do next.I can't just take the train and leave,because the two men told me that that is not a right way to go to the Magistrate.And from Kafkamesto's note book,you can see he has many thing did not finish.Example:He has to meet his uncle Max and bring the story books to him.The story books are from the advocate's room.And you can pick up a sign from the pharmacy to Melina also.

Hope someone can find the best and perfect way to finish this game.

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I believe that by "mole" it is referred to the ending where Josef K. becomes tattooed at the factory. The mole means also a spy.

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Yi mi, there's a train ticket:

at the office,

in the right drawer.

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well there IS a way to finish the game... a little selfish as you don't help anyone, but you get the congrats screen.

1. from your room, take the bottle from under the bed, the letter opener and your punchcard.
2. head to work and punch in. go to your desk and open the drawer with the letter opener. take the ticket that's in there.
3. on your desk, find your day timer and flip through the pages to get to your doctor's appointment. take it.
4. take the yellow folder from the desk. those are your x-rays.
5. go to the doctor's office and give the nurse your appointment and the doctor your x-rays.
6. take your prescription bottle.
7. go to the chemist and give him your empty bottle and your prescription.
8. go to the train station. take your prescription and head through the gate.
9. give the ticket to the guy on the platform and board the train.
10. that's it. there is no 10.

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Who is Herr . K?????

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In the beginning of the game, before K wakes up, we see different images floating around his head that pertain to elements of the game. One of these is the key which no one as of yet has found a use for and another is a rabbit? with a strange little hat. I don't think anyone has mentioned this element yet on this forum and I personally haven't encountered it in the game. Maybe these are just artifacts that are left over from previous ideas for the game: a little like the postcard that K in fact does NOT have to take on the train with him to be happy.

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Paola Gomar January 6, 2006 5:24 PM

Hi, about the rabbit, it isnt a rabbit its a mouse a little singing mouse at the cabarette, she is in a pool table or something near the door where you leave the insurance papers, you just have to click on the mouse hole.

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please guys can anybody help?
supposedly the game will start if i pick up the suitcase beside the desk, but i cant see one!
i also can only click on the cupboard and two drawers that have nothing inside! what am i doing wrong?

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ok! things are alright now, all over sudden, a day later i opened the game again and there were papers inside the drawer and so on! so maybe it needs starting a few times, since then it works...sorry for bothering...
by the way its a beautiful game...

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does anyone else have the smame problem!

i cant seem to pick up any of the objects e.g the letters and stuff im pressing keep

can someone help!!!!

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has anyone figured out what to do with the key?!!! There is a key in the bedroom on the window's edge.

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hey, this is cool. I like it.

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uuurrg... I can't even get out the main doors, it keeps saying "all human errors are impatience.." It takes a long time to load!

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ok, well, it's a beautiful game, but I can't take the getting lost in the city anymore. where are these places? I get there one time and then I can't find it again...

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i found that after the nurse said to you"the doctor will see you now",then take a seat beside the man, you will become a bug and said you don't feeling well......

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i solved it in 4 different ways, 1. leaving by train, 2. getting old waiting for the "law", 3. transforming into a cockroach, and 4. die from being "tattooed" at the industrial site. ive heard of comitting suicide at the cemetary, how do u do that?

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Francakes May 17, 2006 2:50 AM

I've beat the game and have died in every way. But there is this gold key on the window in his bedroom. Has anyone figured out what that is for?

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lolka_bolka June 14, 2006 9:21 AM

Hm, very strange game. I think a littlebit difficult to navigate between the places...

Lolka

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MedicMarti August 30, 2006 2:02 PM

I can't find the timecard! I looked in his desk drawer, but all it says is: "Did I write this?" I can't pick it up! HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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i haven't read this whole thread but I believe there is a better ending to skipping town. I hate to post a spoiler, as it is not especially Kafkaesque.. lol it's supposed to be something of a mystery but I will anyway because I don't know if I'm on the right track.. But every item has a very specific use I think and every item can be wasted in the wrong places.

Here is what you want to do, as I have found out so far. Once you have your medecine, take it by clicking on the cap, then "use". When you go into the neighbour's room (6) there is a fake arm under the bed and a letter in the bedisde table. take them. I'm not sure yet what to do with the letter. After you have seen the doc and the pharmacist, take the arm to the bar (I'll explain how to get there in a second) and give it to the bartender. He'll then tell you you can have a free drink once you finish talking with your boss. Go in. Make sure you have that white paper from the file in your desk drawer from work. Your boss will ask for what you owe him, give him this paper. Then leave and there will be booze waiting there for you. Take that, go home, get the cup and go to the factory. To find Milena, click on the door on the right and then click on the keyhole. You'll see a scene and then she'll be out side. Try to give her the cup andshe'll tell you to give it to Otto. Go back to the same door. You'll go in the room and Give otto the cup, then the booze. He'll give you a book, Crime and Punishment. Go to the advocate's office and give your money to the lady behind the desk. She'll let you in. Then give the book to the advocate and he'll give you some kind of legal document. That is as far as I've gotten so far. You age waiting if you give it to the guard at the castle so don't do it. The key means something I believe. It helps a lot to know about Kafka's life and writings. If I had not, I wouldn't have gotten this far.

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yes the time card. Sometimes the paper is not on the top of the pile and you have to "sift" through it.

PS um.. people do notice that the cursor changes into a pointing hand when it is an object or place they can explore.... right? That goes a long way..

If you want to go to the doctor's office and get in to see him, you have to find your appointment card. It's somewhere in your desk at work.. you have to look carefully.. click on anything and any item you pick up. You can turn the pages of the journal and you can open two drawer folders.

also pay attention to the street signs. sometimes you may go back on a different street than you came in on. In some cases there are two signs and depending on which you click on will depend on where you go.

best of luck

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"There is no goal, but no way:
What we call a way is hesitation"

The unique style of this adventure creates
a great atmosphere, which can only be described
as kafkaesque...

I love the work of Kafka,
which is why i have been to Prague last week
(and i can only recommend the local kafka museum)
If anyone is interested, the deadly "machine"
in the factory was created after the description of
a nightmare Kafka had quite some times...

I think i played through every possible ending now,
and sadly found nothing new.

The golden key...


is the key to the law...

you can give it to the guard at the castle

but using it doesn't change anything on the
"law"-ending as i hoped...
perhaps there is another use for it?

for those who wan't to suicide
just click on the tombstone next to the
grave digger

Melina obviously can't be helped,
she doesn't want the job at the pharmacy
(because she loves otto)
and she won't accept anything else

im quite out of ideas, but if u notice
anything strange (stranger than the game already is i mean) just post it...

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Forget about the key idea,
of course the guard takes everything but
doesn't grant acces, just like in kafkas work, my bad

So the question for the key is still open

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I found 2 new things.

If you give the letter you find in the girls room to Schmetterling, he gets upset you're hinting the relationship is anything more then professional and kicks you out. I also received a 2nd phone call saying they were looking for me at work.

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Okay. So.
Paola Gomar, you refered to the mouse as being in the cabarette, could you be reffering to the bar? or Herr Schmetterlings room?
And also,would the refrence to the mole have anything to do with the mole under the stairs?
Does that man with the combover, (first door on the left as you leave your room) have any use in the plot?
Did anyone else notice that:

The man who "murders" you in the industrial warehouse, is also the man who takes your train ticket?

Last thing! Could we get rid of Otto in anyway, kill him, bribe him with the train ticket, anything? So Malina can leave?
Thanks!

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I think it's all supposed to be some kind of twisted dream.

The fact that you can give items to the wrong people and never get them back, thus necessitating a replay, is sort of symbolic of the repetitive nature of certain dreams.

Not to mention the one-armed men and the fact that the neighbor keeps you waiting indefinitely without ever being ready to greet you, the fact that nobody makes any sense... it's all an artistic statement.

I wrote about this game on my blog, if anyone's interested.

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Where is Otto's factory?

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i can't find the doctor, can anyone help? please!

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Where is that bloody doctor's office?

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prelude in c minor December 23, 2007 7:16 PM

to go to the docs office,

go to the two men and go right. and go into the left arch twice. then go into the street on the left with little grey street signs and go into the brown door on the far right. put the punchcard in the clock thingy and go into the middle double doors. voila!!!

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did anyone notice..that you can pick up the work needed sign thing from the phamacy..and i'm thinking..if it has to do with milena..coz in her letter it says she needs a new job because she deosnt like Otto..but when you give it to her she says that she couldnt possible leave Otto for the job??

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ughhh
what is the key for???
and is there any happy ending to this??
also..
what's the umm... poster thing for?
Argeles Gazost?

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mkay mkay nevermind..

the only way that seems to be happy is

getting away from kafkamesto?

so far all the other endings seem bad...

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habanero pepper November 23, 2008 10:47 PM

ending list:

1. leaving on train (best case scenario found yet) :)
2. suiciding in the grave (worst case scenario) :(
3. exploding into a cockroach O_o
4. getting murdered in the factory x_x
5. dieing of old age waiting for the man to let you into the castle lol

there is no use for the key. i asked smoking gun productions (maker of the game) and they said its just there to puzzle people.

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Hi! I was wondering, how do you turn into a cockroach in the game? That would be sooo Kafkaesque...

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