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Kingdom of Loathing

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Rating: 4.8/5 (684 votes)
Comments (159) | Views (35,309)

Kingdom of Loathing

As I enter Guano Junction inside the Bat Hole, I check my equipment. Chef's hat? Check. Rubber axe? Check. Frilly skirt? Check. Dirty hobo gloves? Check. Pine-Fresh air freshener? Check (well, one can never be too careful). I am ready for anything.

Kingdom of LoathingMeat is king in this insane, comical, turn-based RPG from Asymmetric Publications. Composed entirely in DHTML and compatible with most browsers, The Kingdom of Loathing is unlike any game I have played online, or anywhere else for that matter. I've never been a big fan of text based games or text adventures, but I am completely hooked on this one. It is a ridiculously addictive and insanely over-the-top game that you cannot help but love.

You are an adventurer—rather, "An adventurer is You!," as the game proclaims—who has come to the Kingdom of Loathing to help destroy the monsters and Naughty Sorceress who have taken over the kingdom and imprisoned King Ralph XI. This is not that much different than a hundred other games, I'll admit. The fun is in its "stunning hand-drawn images" and unusual Monty Pythonesque items and monsters. I have only been playing for a week or three now and have already been attacked by such evils as a Can of Asparagus with a knife, a Gnollish Plungermaster, and a Brainsweeper ("This is a disembodied brain used to control a set of brooms. Why? For Science!").

Kingdom of LoathingKoL features a very unique class system, hundreds of offbeat weapons and armor to collect (Knob Goblin tongs, Bloody clown pants, a pasta spoon, etc.), and familiars (or pets) that will aid you in battle. I currently have Ignacious MaGuillicutty, the 12-pound Mosquito.

KoL also includes chat rooms so members can chat while playing (though you must earn that right). It also has PvP (Player vs Player) battle options. However, you are in charge of when you want to begin battling against other players. Until you have chosen to smash the Magical Mystical Hippy Stone that is in your campgrounds, no one can attack you and vice-versa.

The only negative thing I can say about it is that it is turn-based. Each day you are given forty turns to play. They do rollover from day to day, but you cannot exceed two hundred turns. This may be plenty for most, but with the amount of time that I have free for gaming, I am always running out of turns at times when I am feeling the most "in the zone". I had to start a second character just so I can play longer.

This is definitely a 'must play' game for RPG fans who want something different, as it has become a personal favorite. I could ramble on and on endlessly (obviously) about all the randomness and wit this game has crammed within it, but I'll have to let you just see for yourself. I mean honestly, any game where meat is currency and a literacy exam is required before you can use the chat room has gotta be good.

Play Kingdom of Loathing


Hey hey! I love this game, what's your character, jay? I can send you some buffs =D
(I'm Harukio and Tiny Plastic Harukio)
Oh and KoL has a pretty neat internet radio stream :)


woah, this wasn't posted by jay?....woooaah i never noticed that more that one person were posting games....i think...i'm confused.....


Sorry for the confusion, Harukio. There have been several people who have stepped up to contribute reviews to the site, the latest of which is Preston who reviewed KoL.

I will post an announcement.


I've been playing KoL for about two months now, it's so damn fun and funny. I'm a Pastamancer by the name of daenrr if you want to know. =]


Hehe. I've been playing KoL for over a year now, so be warned about it being addictive! The humour and wealth of pop culture references got me hooked, and the community and ever adding content kept me playing.

I too could ramble on and on about its merits, but this review does fail to mention cooking and cocktail crafting that are 2 fairly major gameplay elements in the kingdom. You can only eat and drink a certain amount each day (you get drunkeness points and become "falling down drunk" and can only adventure in a drunken stupor when you excede them) but doing so gives you more adventure. Cooking ingredients together results in a new tasty treat that usually give more adventure than the ingredients on their own. "The Mall" is also a big part of the game, where players can buy a store and sell items to other players to earn meat. Not everything is available on your first day and more and more content becomes available as you gain levels.

If you need help (which you definately will) you should look up kol.coldfront.net or kol.thraeryn.org WARNING both are fairly spoilertastic. Or you can ask fellow players in the /newbie chat channel.

It's also worth noting the community there. As well as the chat channels, there are also forums, clans (each clan has its own chat channel) and a live streaming 24hr radio station (which includes regular shows from the game's creators). The community is huge and, for the most part, friendly and player meet ups are always being organised.

Oh and I am Jill_Bob and have a multi called Mr Croup. Feel free to kmail (ingame messaging system) me if you want hints for a specific thing!


I've been playing this game for almost 2 months and i got totally hooked up. It's fantastic.

My only problem is that i would like to join a clan in which people are mostly europeans, because i'm from eastern europe and it's hard to socialize whith people in a totally different time zone. So, if you people have seen or heard of such a clan, please share.

On the other hand, it'd also be lovely to start a clan that would meet this requirement. If anyone here is interested in being my "associate" in doing so, again, please share. My ingame name is julianne.

Sorry for "advertising" here, I hope i'm not breaking any rules. By the way, i've been watching your site for over a year now. Jay (and all the other people), you sure have good taste in games.


LOL @ Me.

There are TONS of action games to be found in the archives.

The reason why it's funny to read your comment just now is that someone just sent word of a new shooter game they have just completed, and I jumped for joy and told him that I needed an action game to post after the last few non-action games. So, just so you know, I'm on it! =)


KoL rocks the christ child.

I have a friend who was playing for a while and actually sent them some money, that raised the game to a whole new level of powerups and such.

I loved teh haiku dungeon. My favorite was (going from memory here)

Cigarette, no light
just snap fingers to make fire
mysticalness rules!


This game is absolute genius. Started playing a few months ago and have been hooked ever since.


Huzzah, Adventurer! I am Cydian, Executive Morale Officer of the Seal Clubbers Union. We're a good clan if anyone wants to join. As for my own adventures, I have completed a Hardcore Oxy SC run, and should complete a quick Softcore run so I can go and do a Hardcore Tee SC run.


Yes, just like everyone else I too am addicted. This game is good stuff. I normally don't go for such silliness, but kol is not silly, it's creative and witty. Try it!!


That's ridiculous. That's not even funny. :) Yeah, I love the game, too. Going on a Hardcore Oxy run right now.


This is a really fun game. I'm hooked. The limited turns thing is pretty annoying though--I had to create a second character as well to sate my addiction.


If you're running low on turns, you can either eat or drink to get more adventures. At first, you won't get too many, but by mid-levels you can easily get at least 100 extra turns per day by food and drink. Also, certain items can increase the number of turns you get per day. A meat maid, for instance, gives you 4 extra adventures per day (HINT: To make a maid, you will need a head, complete with brain and hair, as well as a body, consisting of an engine and a skirt).

Anyway, I've been playing this game a while now (I actually played a LONG time ago, before ascension was put in place, but that account expired). My current character just completed his first hardcore ascension, and I'm currently a hardcore teetotaller turtle tamer.


Knowing someone who knows how to make nice food is a HUGE PLUS and will probably result in you having more turns than you know how to deal with.


I've played this one on and off for 6 months, and I love its sense of humour! The sheer number of bad puns and pop culture references in there is incredible. Sadly after seeing all the content and ascending in each class it becomes more of a numbers game, trying to maximise turns/day and do the most you can with them. Still, 6 months of play is great for a free game.
You should really mention that it is supported through donations and merch, and that every $10 donation gets a highly-collectible and tradable Mr Accessory ingame!


Sorry for not mentioning the above mentioned things that should have been mentioned...wait.

Like I said, I have only been playing for maybe a month (one of those weeks excluded as I had no electricity. Curse you Katrina!!) and know that there is a ton I left out. I can tell, even as a newbie, that this game is one I will not tire of any time soon and wanted to make sure it was mentioned on Jay's site. Definitely one to be shared.

Also, I already felt like I had written a novella and didn't want to sound like a complete addict. That and alot of the stuff I am still too new to have even seen. I JUST bought the E-Z Cook oven last night. So excited!

TneeLilSupaGuy the Pastamancer


Correction: Not yet a Pastamancer. I am merely a Starch Savant. TneeLilSupaGuy the Starch Savant just doesn't have the same ring to it.



I have only just started playing, so I am only a lowly yeast!!

watch out for setters393


I am Sparkist the Macaroni Magician and KOL rocks.


Interesting game... Pretty funny. =)

To get into the chat, I thought the trivia question was the NAME of George Washington's favorite black horse. I spent forever searching for it until I finally checked again... lmao, I'm so stupid! ^_^


There are 3 other games using the same concept.
Urban Dead - A Massively Multi-Player Web-Based Zombie Apocalypse
Vampires! The Dark Alleyway
Canon - The Mortal King

though all pale before the the humour of KoL...


I am loving KOL... to few game turns though. Thank you for posting!

spazworrier September 16, 2005 5:22 PM

Holy wow! I've been reading Jay's blog for a while now (my #1 site for games) and I never thought I'd see KoL make it into your blog!

As for me? Well I'm an old school player of KoL, I've been around for over 2 years on it, as you may have guessed my Player name is "spazworrier" and my ID is 2454, and I'm a chat-moderator.

I'd be glad to help anyone (espescially Jay since your blog has been a spark of light in the darkness that is boredom), but just one word of warning, don't beg, not to me or anyone, people get really annoyed when newbies to the game beg for stuff.

Again, Holy wow! Jay, you are the man!


p.s. Kristyn, Don't compare KoL to Vampires! (the other 2 I don't know) If I remember correctly that game uses sucker links which people click to make you stronger.


I really want to learn to play this game. But I don't really know how to get started. All I've done so far is just to create an account. And I really don't understand the newbie chatroom.


Yay I'm happy to see kol make it here I was surprised.


you suck. goodjob. i cant stop playing!! (until i run out of the ridicuously small ammount of adventures that is)


Dont take goofballs.


Tneelilsuprguy like the character on Seasame Street?

Anyway, I love this game, and if anyone is looking for a good, helpful clan, I'm in Hyrule (buncha zelda fans) and I'm Amauriel. Look me up!


Yea, TneeLilSupaGuy as in the most wonderful Sesame Street character. By the way, I am impressed/pleasantly surprised that you knew who he is. Been using that name everywhere online for years now and only one other person has known who it is without being told.

I'm on one of the first few quests, trying to kill the Boss Bat, and I keep getting murdered by the Batrats. Is there a certain weapon I should use? My strongest weapon right now is the Rubber Axe. It doesn't seem to be working for me. I thought I could maybe use the Slingshot for its distance, but I never hit the Batrat with it. Any suggestions?

Chaos Black September 21, 2005 12:38 PM

Heres a tip Preston: The bosses require you to be like 1-2 Levels higher then they give it to you in order to beat... Try joining a clan and blowing some adventures in the clan gym


Thanks Chaos Black. At least now I know to stop switching weapons and trying over and over again, wasting adventures.

elvisharwen September 28, 2005 12:54 PM

dont take goofballs as in, don't take them off him, or dont take them as in dont consume? yeah im loving this game too, im a newbie starch savant, with my 10lb mosquito and a funky meat car - i have just taken my first holiday!


Man, I love this game. I'm having issues constructing a car, though - any hints with that? I have everything on the little "shopping list" or whatever I found except for rims. Where do I get those?

BTW, I have a cocoabo as a familiar, and I love it, highly reccomended. They attack, confuse your enemies, and can heal you during battles as well.


you can find rims in the hermitege you must buy a hermit permit at the market. combine empty meat tank with meat stack to get a full meat tank and combine the sprocket and cog to get sprocket assembly and i don't remember the rest just try some stuff. what the heck is a cocoabo send me one or tell me where to find it my KOL name is "Spoken Voice Of Thyn Phone" ya i know right, =)


Some general tips - learn about your class skills - many are more powerful than you'd think. In addition, you can ask for buffs from other players (offer to pay, although many people give 'em for free). Buffs can do anything from improve your stats, to help you find meat and items. Last thing - learn what the various usable items may do for you. Hair Spray is a wonderful, yet very cheap item available in the Demon Market.

If you have more questions, ask me (Blythe) in the game!


A cocoabo is a type of familiar. =D

In your guys' opinions, what's the "best" familiar? I have a mosquito (Hogvadius), a leprechaun (McFleefle), and my current familiar, Yasquiiltianvex the Cocoabo. I'm collecting them, so I just wanted to know what you guys think is the best... And where can you get them, besides the mall?


Familiars completely depend on what you're doing, and what your style of play is. Spellcaster? You'll want something that refreshes MP, such as the starfish or ghuol whelp. Looking for stuff or meat? Get a leprechaun or baby gravy fairy. Straight up attacks? Lots of options there... although the best that are attainable are the cocoabo or (if you can afford it at the mall) ghost pickle on a stick. Even better, in general check the Mr. Store - it has great familiars for sale if you trade in a Mr. Accessory (you get a Mr. A for giving a $10 donation to the game - a worthy contribution, just for the item).

As for where to get familiars... they are available throughout the game, with lots of different methods of finding them. Check some of the older accounts for a more complete list of familiars out there. ;)


If you have not got a clan you can join mine. We have a meat tree a calendar and a full gym. We hold daily raffles and auctions. Let me know what your desicion is.


Oh hey Duff! (ive seen ya on the game)... none of you probably know me... but I've been coming to jay is games for ages... kind of a silent gamer... except in KoL, Duff might remember me as as chattery as chatbot... :D

KittenOfWoe November 5, 2005 7:11 AM

I love this game, and ascended for the first time today! I played it some time ago but left my account unused so i lost it. But i've been playing in the incarnation of KittenOfWoe for about a year now. About to do my first ascention run, then will attempt the long road into hardcore playing.
I love the cult feeling of this game, with its foums and merch - i have a sabre-toothed lime tshirt on my christmas prezzie wishlist!

Untitiled November 6, 2005 2:01 PM

You are forgetting..once you become a somewhat high-level character, it is possible to gaing 60+ adventures a day. My name is Untitiled, and I have been playing for a fairly long time; not a year yet, though. I had an account awhile back, but had gotten bored.I can't help donating every month, either!


For anyone interested in this game, I just came across the visual KoL Wiki, which looks like an excellent source of information for this game.


KoL. Best. Game. Evar. Man, Preston, you thinnk it's good, and you're only at the bat cave. "Nuke the sausage out of orbit..." Now THAT'S funny! Spazworrier, you should remember that. Lucky guy, you have a bugbear-smiting sword... I wish I had a custom item too... "ring of control RNG" or "ring of aggravate Jick." Lolz0rz!


I've been playing 4 more than most of u. and btw Jay, u use rubber ax? u caold get much better equitment by the time u get that acess u noe...


hey remember me? i got a spoiler!!!



i have been playing kol for about 3 years now and i have started my own clan and stuff this is a really fun game. it is a good idea for noobs to adventure in the knob golin vaults cause you can get up to 500 meat in one adventure!


01/02/06 01:05:29 AM - Welcome back to the Kingdom of Loathing. Noob.

I ascended tonight! :)


what time does the number of adventures reset???

i just started yesterday!! and i'm hooked already...i can't wait to join a clan and maximize my KoL experience...Yey! haha...

I have two characters already...haha..One parsley enchanter and one chill crook!!

Looking forward to years and years of playing this game!!

Is it possible to donate or buy merchandise even if you do not have paypal??


Never heard of the game. Werebear, player 21163. :)

turdopotomus January 5, 2006 1:07 PM

Hey! Looky there! It's my favorite game ever! I was so pleased to see it made the top 20 for 2005! Yippee!

OlafThe____ January 7, 2006 5:11 AM

Great Game.
I'm liking seeing it near the top.
Off and on for a little under 2 years now, and I say if you haven't gotten on, you should.

MarjaMariachi January 7, 2006 5:42 PM

Hooray! Good call, KoL is a wonderful game! I have been playing for one year, two days now, and still adore it! The jokes, the bad, bad jokes... I just can't get enough!

In reply to Mark, yeah, you can donate and buy things without using Paypal. Click the Donate link at the top and it will give you information. They accept Amazon online payments and check and money order (and cash, just conceal it so it doesn't get stolen) through the mail. The mailing address is on that Donate page


This is bloody hilarious. I'm a Level 5 Rosemany Diviner (Lv5 Sauceror), and I just ascended from being a Lv13 Seal Clubber (Walrus Bludgeoner). The monster are brilliant, the items are cool, and it just fits together so well with all the right humour. An adventurer is me!

brandelion January 23, 2006 7:06 PM

oh yeah, KoL is teh awesomest! glad to see a review here


ummm...maybe this is a dumb question...but I just started playing, and I can't figure out where to sell items. Can anyone help me out?


glommie: you can sell items straight from your inventory


YEAH!! Meat meat meat and more meat!! Thanks!!

Love this game...but must find a way to get more adventures...without getting too drunk!!


What level do you have to be to do the Boss Bat Quest? I'm Level 4 (Ermie Thumper) and I keep getting my butt kicked!!

I've gone equiped with:

a$$hat, Spooky Stick, Knob Goblin Pants, and Dirtry Hobo Gloves...as well as my 11 pound mosquito.

My stats are:

Muscle: 15
Mysticality: 7
Moxie: 10
HP: 27
MP: 7

Can someone give me some help with this one?



right i'll tell u guys how to make lots of familiars.

ok.. to make a blood faced volleyball u have to get a volleyball from the hermitage. Then use a seal tooth to make ure hand go bloody and use the volleyball. I made thousands by selling this in the mall. Secondly a cocoa thing:get 4 cocoa eggshell fragment and cook em together. StarStarfish: combine 6stars and 4 lines together.gravy fairy: get a knob goblin mushroom and cook it with a gravy fairy.Howling balloon monkey: combine 4 long skinny balloons together.

If u want more tips on familiars send me a message my character is Skyxale

crouching potato March 4, 2006 10:13 PM

hey any speed ascenders in here?
my fastest run is like 10 days, anyone wanna share some speed ascending strategies?

urudezu March 9, 2006 8:09 PM

as for the boss bat, his strength and moxy(sp?) scale to you moxy(sp?) and strenght. just get a fey more levels and use a powerfull weapon.

Lodrelhai April 1, 2006 4:43 AM

Hey, tried loading in today and I keep getting redirected to a page that says "This domain has been purchased by site-pimp.com" and lists a bunch of links for stuff I never want to see. Anyone know what's going on?

urudezu April 1, 2006 9:44 PM

that is just an april fools joke, click on any of the likns and it will to to the right site.


This game is awesome and so easy to play. I've been playing it for more than 6 months now... can't wait to ascend!

Mystikal~ April 28, 2006 12:12 AM

I just signed up I'm amazed I've haven't found this yet! I like the turn based system I don't have much time to play so yah.... My name is Everest


KoL r0xx0rs my s0xx0rs. I've been playing for about six months.
I have a level 10 SC right now (Started as PM, did a HCO PM run, now on a HCTT SC run) - Odjn
I also have a level 16 SA - Chetyre
Feel free to apply to Monsoon Empire, which is a great clan I'm happy to be a leader of. Or, /msg Chetyre with a request for buffs. If you mention jayisgames or something, I'll give you whatever saucespheres you need for free.

teslumfatty June 30, 2006 11:17 AM

does anyone know how to get the distant beach on the map?


you need to complete all guild quests.
(your guild depends on your class seal clubber and turtal tamer: the brother hood of the smackdwon, pastamancer and sauceror:the League of Chef-Magi, and finnaly disco-bandits and accordian theifs: the Department of Shadowy Arts and Crafts) the 1st 2 are located on the right side of the tracks and the last on the wrong side of the tracks.


I need help to beat the goblin king any help or pointers?


Boost your moxie out the wazoo. After that, it depends on your class. As a muscle or mysticality class, learn your most powerful damage spells (headbutt, stream of sauce, thrust-smack). As a moxie class, use lots of items and get your moxie even higher with buffs. I recommend trying the cola wars battlefield for some cola grenades (50 damage a pop). Buffs can be found cheap from Testudinata, the friendly neighborhood buffbot. Two all-important buffs are the moxious madrigal and hairspray. This should make you tough enough to handle most any opponent.


I've been playing this game almost daily for years now. Anyone need help? K-mail me in game! My nick is EbolaWoman.


What has made me laugh is to see so many of our clan members posting on here!

This is a truly awesome and addictive game. You must all join in the fun!


I love KoL! I discovered it a couple weeks ago, and it quickly became my favorite game ever! It is frustrating to have so few turns per day---every now and then it drives me truly crazy and I have to create a new character to fulfill my needs. So far, I have a level 7 pastamancer (Eraine), a level 9 accordian thief (Myitkyina), and a level 5 turtle tamer (Elise).

the fluffy December 6, 2006 11:18 PM

for all of you KOL fans out there I recommend getting Firefox(the browser) and Greasemonkey(a firefox addon). This addon allows for automatic running of script(that can be found HERE
This allows you to add your own interfaces, functions, and other nice features. I personally have a built in autoadventure tool, tabbed ifram interface for fast character manipulation, and stationary combat so the adventure button stops jumping around like a crack monkey. There are lots of options. Play with them and find your preference. Red Mage Bros. are We.


sup im a poor noob and i need stuff. i relly want a caocabo(the familiar)(my acount name is panic)1!!!!!

Technochocolate January 27, 2007 10:54 PM

In case anyone is looking for other players, I'm Technochocolate, and I'm usually in the chat channel /normal. Tell me if you saw this message!


The Gravy Fairies
Jealously guard their gravy

-best haiku ever


Indeed, there are many great haiku in the game, but my personal favorite has to be the description of the hippopotamus skin:


cillitbang12 February 14, 2007 5:14 PM

Hello jayisgames!

I have been playing this since March last year and have thusfar ascended 5 times, and am heading up for my 6th.

First time- DB, 201 day ascension.
Second time- PM, 33 day ascension.
Third time- DB, 16 day ascension.
Fourth time- DB, 8 day ascension.
Fifth time- DB, 6 day ascension.

I'm now a level 7 Sauceror with 200-odd turns of ronin left. Luckily, I won a GhostPickle competition and a hi-mein competition, which has carried me through the last two of the above ascensions. I'm gaining the skills I need for HCO. It's a daunting prospect.
Anyone here done HCO and have any suggestions? I'm cillitbang12 (#933515), and I'd be glad to say hello.


KoL is a wonder, however it is not without problems.

The main problem you deal with is a game admin that refuses to take responsibility for his screw ups.

On white Wednesday he deleted the entire game database. His solution to correcting the problem? You notify him which items were lost. Bear in mind the game had hundreds of items to track. If you should happen to be in error with your claim, no warning was received, your account was closed.

On a more recent note, Sneaky Pete's day came not at all, or seemed not to. Why? No one knows... On Easter, the kingdom celebrates an Oyster Egg day and hunt. Again this special event seemed to not be happening. Why? Because the game owner, and the only person able to fix the problem, fell asleep.

So, if you don't mind a very unprofessional web master, that admits he finds his own game boring, then this could be just the game for you.


I love this game. When I started playing, I went straight up to level 8 on my main (and created several other accounts because 40 turns a day just wouldn't do) within less than a week.

However, my hype for it died down as the game got boring, and as Kol Deity has pointed out, the webmaster's screwups were terribly inconvenient.

Anyone want to chat? I hardly ever go on anymore, but once in a while, I log on to prevent my account from being deleted.

-Sir Wanker (#1278436)

Anonymous April 28, 2007 9:08 PM

whats ascending?

sephira May 4, 2007 5:58 AM

To Anon on April 28, 2007: Have a look-see here to see what's ascending. :)

To KoL Deity: Yes, the game admin (Jick, one of the creators) did delete the database but the whole team of five persons spent 3 months afterwards going through over 12,000 reports and doing their best to restore lost items. That was on top of dealing with two huge events, videlicet, The Gray Plague and Crimbo (KoL's X'mas).

One could've sent a detailed list of what's missing or opted for an inventory dump from 9/6. I'm doubtful that making a wrong claim or two would get one's account disabled, but obviously exaggerated ones in hopes of getting some rares one never had? The latter... Maybe then.

Anyway, remember petrified time? Yeah, the item that was given to all players as an apology for White Wednesday. Prior to the release of petrified time, there was no equipment that could give you as many adventures/turns during rollover as a full set of time equipment could.

So, yeah, for a free game, I thought the staff did really well, especially in regards with the restoration.

As for the St. Sneaky Pete's Day weirdness on April 3, the answer can be found right here. And hmm, might want to bear in mind that St. Sneaky Pete's Days and Oyster Egg Days actually occur 3 to 4 times (each) a year.

coolcat00011 May 8, 2007 12:44 PM

hi, coolcat00011 here. i love this game, and i have 7 normal ascensions and 1 hardcore ascension under the belt (belt not included) feel free to contact me for some stuff :D


Hey everybody,

Just wanted to say hey. My KoL name's Skinnynate, and I've got 11 (12 maybe?) ascensions under my belt, including many Hardcores and an Oxycore. If you need any help with the game feel free to hit me up and mention you saw this on Jayisgames, I'm hardly one of the old guard of KoL (points back up the comments at Werebear) but people were kind to me when I started and I'm happy to pass the love along.

Also, if you see Jayisgames logged in to KoL be sure to say hello to them! No promises, but when I gave them a shout in game I got some free meat.


there is NO point to this game..is there???
anyways.. i had fun for one day playing this game. :)


What do you mean there's no point to this game??

I think you are missing something. Are you confused by "out of adventures"? Don't you know how that you get more every day, and that you can replenish them with food and drink?


Oh and for the negative comments up there, frankly, I'm stunned. Kol is a free (yes, free!) game chokeful of content, jokes and gameplay and is in my opinion one of the best Web experiences you can find nowadays.

Also, the designers/administrators are such a commited bunch you'd be hard-pressed to find folks like that somewhere else, especially when you see the effort they make to keep the game free. To present them here as some "screwups" who "don't care for the game at all" is downright mean and resentful. It's probably a result of some personal issue which has nothing to do with the game itself.

Oh and btw, in about 20 days, Kingdom of Loathing gets through a major release change with plenty of new content, new mechanics, quests and so on so if you liked it before and tuned out somehow, perhaps it's time to check it out again! :)

malacy man June 25, 2007 9:45 PM

how do you beat the first quest as a turtle guy??


Im a level 2 Turtle Tamer By the name of AlbertQ. I played for over a year and it is so dang addictive. rightnow im doing Oxycore and Let me show you some things I have

I have a Mr.A and 3.6 million meat

Anonymous July 24, 2007 1:11 AM

how do you make a cocoabo i have 4 shell fragments but how do i combine them???


i am lwllw in the game,and i am lvl 3(well,the flea market was helpful,i get a asbestos ore from it for 200 meat),this game is very good,it was simple but it was fun(i mean the color was simple)and i need help,people wanted just show the spoiler below

i have knob goblin tongs(weapon)knob goblin pants(pants)pail(hat)i have prob in the rat quest


i need help again,how can i get the knob goblin mushroom?and i got the bugbear bungguard now and i wear it,and don't forget my 3 pound mosquito and i got locked orcish meat locker,how can i open it?oh and i got the bugbear beanie,so i can go in the bugbear bakery!(lol)

Anonymous August 9, 2007 1:43 PM

how do i get Mr.acsessory's?

mattymerr August 11, 2007 7:44 PM

wow so many posts I'm only level 3 and I've been playing for 1 day, I'm a disco thief my ingame name is mattymerr.


i have my epic weapon!!! (i am just lvl 4!) anyone know what monster is in fun house? and what they drop and how do i find a key for the locked orcish meat locker?

wateringcan2 August 12, 2007 1:16 PM

yeah i know but one bad thing as my little sister played it and she made me buy 2561 knoll visors!! If you want one just give me a gift you can have 20 my names wateringcan2

garythesnail September 16, 2007 7:28 AM

I make epic weapons for whoever needs them! I'm garythesnail the level 8 turtle tamer, first ascension.

it's 200 meat for each epic weapon.


I have been playing kol for over a year now and I think that shows how addictive it really I would recommend it to people who don't generally play online games because of its uniqueness

I do notice there are a lot of game related questions on here if you want some answers feel free to send me a K-mail to Stroby (#849447) and I will endeavour to reply asap


How do I do the Boss Bat quest. I can't remove the stones that block the chambers


AWESOME. Just pure awesome! I've been playing for a year and 1/3 and im still playin it. Right now im stuck in the

Naughty Sorceress Quest and here are my equips-hat-reinforced beaded headband-weapon-drowsy sword-pants-bullet proof corduroys-Accessory-Blue Diamond of Honesty-Elmley shades-badass belt-Familiar-miniature castagnets. My Familiar is a Casagnova Gnome



YOU can't move the rocks, but something in the Bat Hole with a "sonar" can.


You'll have to be more specific. Your quest, the final quest, is very long.


I have been playing KoL for bout...1-1.5 years now (stopped for a while) and when I came back there was so much new stuff it was heaps more fun than it already was.

I think my main Character is on his....4-5th ascension (did an Hardcore Oxygenarian ascension which took forever! but got myself a Plith helmet)

boogerflicker December 9, 2007 1:08 AM

I'm a noob and I'm falling down drunk. What can I do to alleviate this? Is the Vented Mohawk Crappacino I can drink to make it go away?



wait until tomorrow & you'll stop being drunk.


Oh, KoL! It is very cool, and has a very cool community. And it has expanded SO MUCH ever since I joined, there is so much to see and do! I am still on my first or second acension, I believe, because I want to collect a bunch of trophies and stuff and explore, I guess.


I have been playing this game for almost 4 years, have most of the trophies, and almost every single Familiar in the game, 2 missing ATM. I still enjoy the game, but man has it gotten longer, 12 HC ascension 6 Oxycore, you could say I have been playing for a while.

I hope many people keep playing the game, and if you have a chance, by all means, send me a message in game, OmegaZone is my character.


i cant get the fun house to appear, i dont know what to do


can someone make a meatsmithing clan


hey Amauriel i am in that clan too. i am a noob but love this game.

Peace from Sasawaska the Move Buster


Hi I'm AlbertQ and I've been playing for 2 years now. If anyone needs help just message me. For any rich or advanced people out their here is what I think is best.


plexiglass pith helmet


leather chaps

Off Hand:

wonderwall shield


immense cyborg hand


mudflap girl ring


navel ring of navel gazing


V for Vivala Mask


Casagnova Gnome

Familiar Equipment:

plastic pumpkin basket or wax lips


where can you get the rims for the meat car??? please, plz plz plz!!!


Visit the old guy in the mountains.

Also, you might check out the stickies on KoL forums - they hold all sorts of useful non-spoilery info.

Havoc Master/Chaos Master February 29, 2008 1:46 PM

Hi as you can guess my names on KoL are Havoc Master and Chaos Master. Jay is games is the my personal favorite site for old and new games.

KoL is hilarious,has anyone read the coffin lid description? I laughed so hard when I did.

Well anyway, got 2 different saucespheres and will cast for 10 meat for 2 castings.

Give a shout, mention Jayisgames, and I'll shout back.

Does anyone listen to KoL radio?

KoLgaga March 6, 2008 9:15 PM

I love KoL, it Rocks!!

gsaddfs2 March 7, 2008 4:12 PM

any one know when the clan will find the nemesis's hiding place?I'm getting bored of waiting!

gsaddfs2 March 7, 2008 4:15 PM

not the clan, but guild i mean.

kol-er =] March 8, 2008 6:46 AM

gsaddfs2, thats a retired quest. Won't happen again till Jick decides to put it on.
Love KoL. Its my life =] Rocks so much. I know a few apathetic lizardmen, who despite still playing the game, dare to ask me "How is kol fun!"
Anyway, you rock Jay, and KoL too. I still enjoy playing.
In game: 1st- nyh_win_95
2nd- nyh_win_88
Well actually 88 was created earlier, but I didn't get the noob cave bit and I ran out of adventures whereupon I properly created and played 95.
Still play everyday but homework and CCA is catching up. Have a nice time y'all, make sure that once you are an Adventurer, you are one forever! -Winnie

gsaddfs2 March 12, 2008 3:59 PM

gsaddfs the level 8 pastamancer(cant remember what it's called) has a spoiler


also, can you guys even give me the smallest donation?
i'm starting a clan.

chichiking March 13, 2008 11:02 PM

Yo! My main account is chichiking2 and if you k mail me, i'll give you a free item!


thank you

NYWerebear March 19, 2008 9:26 PM

Zomg, m347 b3ggz0r.

Someone get a mod.

gsaddfs2 March 25, 2008 9:10 AM

NYWerebear, never mind. i quit. too expensive.
And jay, what's your account name?

gsaddfs2 March 25, 2008 9:17 AM


i am NOT a meat begger


I'm The Cakemeister the level 2 disco bandit


now level six!


I have been playing this for over 35 days already!.. But the brotherhood won't tell me where my nemesis is.

Ainegue May 9, 2008 4:09 PM

Alex, the nemesis is an evil clown, the place where the guide person that gave you the quest will mark on your map after you have built the Epic Weapon and shown it to them.

You need to go to the hermitage, and get a 10 leaf clover and the object that corresponds with your class. Then go to the casino and play the Lemon slots game thing. Get a rock, and meatsmith the rock and your class item together, and then meatsmith that with your origanal class weapon (so if you're a accordion theif you meatsmith it with your Stolen Accordian). Then wield it and go to your guide person, and they'll mark The Fun House on the map for you. Go there, and keep fighting clowns until you kill the boss clown, Beelzebozo, the Clown Prince of Darkness.

Oh yeah, and I had to restart since my account expired, just re-signed up yesterday =D
Anyway, i'm a level 4 Chord Horker a.k.a Accordion Thief.

I just love this game. I just hate that it has SO few adventures!


I've been playing this for a while already, and I love this game! I'm "Skellyton Guy" and have beaten the naughty sorceress 3 times already! For the officail walkthough go to kol.coldfront.net
No 'www'

Anonymous July 2, 2008 11:07 PM

i got my guy drunk and cant do anything

pearlgrinder July 7, 2008 10:21 PM

I am wicked new to this game, just started this past week. I am already craving more adventures! I seem to be stuck at level two though. I have passed a few preliminary quests and aquired a decent number of weird items, but I cannot get the stats I need! BTW I am a sauceror.

My character's name is pearlgrinder. I would love to kmail anyone! (Part of the reason I joined was to build a cyber-social life.) I've never ever played an RPG before and don't really know the etiquette. Anyone want to be my mentor?!?

catland88 August 22, 2008 1:08 AM

Whoo, send me your account! I've some items to give away.


it's not pg-13, it's mature.


the descriptions of the goat beard and better than snuggling cake


i love this game, used to play it ages ago, and just got back in to it
im a level 3 disco bandit called jalopystyle

kingdomofloathingsucks September 7, 2008 1:05 AM

What is the garbage? How do you even think this is funny? All you do is keep on gaining levels ,gaining meat, gaining adventures and thats it!How is this amusing? It's not even funny... its a timewaster... -5/10 for me . very disappointed. =/


i am a level 10 seal clubber if any noobs need any help just k-mail me i am TonytheGreat


Man, I stopped playing this game awhile ago after about my 3 hardcore ascension and i come back and it looks much more fun, I'm going to be playing again. My character's name is EkimLean send me some buffs :)


Hi guys, my names polegon and im a level 12 turtle tamer. I havn't ascended. I love helping people who needs help and not calling them noobs because that can sometimes be offensive...not really. So k-mail me if you want to ask any questions. This game is so addictive i cant stop playing it. And if you want to join the clan im in thats great, k-mail me if you have just started or something and you can pass the Altar of Literacty to chat with me and i can give you tips.



Oh yeah, its polegon here again, i just wanted to say something else.
I can also give you extra things you need so you get to like this more, then, the addiction comes... I can also give you starting meat!



actually its a question.i accidentlly became a leader for a clan.i want to get out but i cant.plz help!


A word of advice:

NEVER take goofballs! They make you get all shaky and bad!

[Edit: Spoiler tags added. -Pam]


I adore KoL. I've been playing less than a month, but I can tell I'm not going to be able to stop until I've attempted every kind of ascension possible with all 6 classes. I stumbled across it accidentally through a link that led to a link that....yeah. It's perfect for my lifestyle cause I'm forced to stop when I run out of turns, so it's self-limiting. If I haven't time to log in every day, it saves my turns up to 200 (5 days for a newbie like me).
I think that many of those who don't like KoL are in a younger age bracket than I am. Some of that supposition of mine assumes that people younger than 30 probably won't get a lot of the jokes (many of them seem to be squarely aimed at the 45-55 set, to tell you the truth). They also have probably had very limited experience with text-based games where the story was everything and the graphics primitive at best. And they also might have more time to spend daily chained to the computer than I do (WoW players come to mind), so the limited play time for them is a liability, where I find it one of the game's assets.
Hee hee...if you crack up uncontrollably at the thought of the use caption for a bottle of sherry reading "Sherry, Sherry baby...you're not sure you like the taste, but it makes you want to go out tonight," this game's for you.


any one know what food and drinks help give you stats?

RexiaXIV May 18, 2009 12:23 AM

At first, I thought 'meh' because it looked simple and because it was a pain to log on considering I got 5 emails with different activation codes.

Now, I think it's awesome. Stick figures, disco bandits, fighting with combs, Mt. Noob, meat is money, killing rabbits, this is so random it's awesome and quite entertaining in its own silly way. x'D

I don't know many things about this site yet, so I'm not sure if it's a small game or not.

I think I'll avoid the forums and other ways of communication though. You know, just in case. I've already been through tons of crap of being called a noob because I don't waste my life so that I'm lvl 100 and because of the fact that a lot of MMORPGS I've been on had people that can't spell for crap and usually quite racist. xD;

Sorry, just wary after playing Maplestory.

Arcanefireorb June 26, 2009 5:34 PM

I just started playing, and my user name is arcanefireorb.


Hello, everyone. Like you all, I love this game, although I have only been playing for about 4 days. Really, some of the things you can be attacked by. A possessed tomato tin. The ghost of a snooker player. A knife weilding asparagus tin. A tyre juggling gnoll. A drunken rat. A guard Bugbear. You can interview a vampire. Quests from people like the pretentious artist and the untinker. And those are just a few that I have seen, and I am a mere level 4. Mysty the Sage Sage. Absolutely hooked.
Although I am extremely annoyed at Degrassi Knoll. Finding the meat car components is VERY FRUSTRATING. All I need is a meat stack, yet all I seem to get is tyres and lots of ice-cold beer, the "champagne of beers" in fact. Plus I am having trouble finding a shovel and some stench protection. Even so, I love this game. Possibly one of the most addictive things about it is finding an outfit which the pretentious artist will paint you in with his pretentious paints. And getting useless things from the Hermit. And various other things besides. But I digress. Great game, look out for Mysty!


Oh, silly me. A meat stack costs 100 meat from your inventory...
Still valiantly trying to get a shovel and stench protection.
By the way, does anyone else have the knob goblin UBERPANTS?! They are the best. I forget how I got them, I had some shiny thing (I think) and went to the knob goblin place where I somehow got them. I would also like to know how I can get more familiars (my mosquito is getting tired) and what the best staff is. I just can't face giving up my spooky staff.

Also, I bought my oven yesterday!! Oh, the joy and wonder!


KoL is amazing.
It's turn-based as well, giving 40 a day to start, but food and alcohol
can give more turns, as well as various items and equipment.

A lot of you older folk will really enjoy the game as there are many
references to old MUDs/RPGs/games. Hell, there's an entire quest that
transports you into a Zork type world.

I've been playing this for a couple years and it's great for those of
us who tend to get addicted to games, as the turns limit the playing
per day. It's perfect for killing 20min a day at work.

The whole 'donations for a monthly special item' turned me off at
first, until I realized that while playing hardcore you can't even use
items gotten from donations...putting everyone on an even playing field.
Once you beat the game, you ascend, keeping a skill from your previous
life permanently.(Oh, btw, in their hardcore you can die 3 turn beat-up buff penalty)

It's a little weird at first, playing a RPG game featuring stick figures,
but it is hilarious, witty, with new content added daily by full time staff.
I recommend you look it up.


Not sure if anyone else mentioned it, but newbie chat can be a little unforgiving. Luckily there are much cooler in game chat rooms. I strongly do recommend the wiki just so veteran players don't belittle you for asking "stupid" questions. You have been warned! It is a great game, but even the greatest games have certain "Beavis" individuals who can ruin the experience of chat. Just /ignore or /baleet them. You don't need to chat with anyone, it can be a completely stand-alone game, but it certainly can enhance the experience if done properly. A great clan system, with clan benefits, there are literally hundreds of clans, maybe thousands, from huge: 500 players to very small: 10 or less. There is the petty, "my clan is better than your clan" junior high nonsense, but that's not really the games fault. Just saying, not everyone is nice, so if you're super sensitive, be careful. That said, I do love the game. But I don't feel like getting hate mail. There are LOTS of awesome, generous players, who don't mind helping newbies, or noobs. Just take chat with a grain of salt. Peace.


I still haven't figured out why, but I can't get to the site - I get this:

Unable to connect
Firefox can't establish a connection to the server at www.kingdomofloathing.com.

I used to play, so it's something I've done on my home connection - anyone have any suggestions?


The only disadvantage to the game is that it is VERY complex with tons of items that make little sense.

You can kind of figure out that the Ancient Runesword is better than a Longsword, which beats a shortsword. But in this game...

The food/drink items dont tell you what they do, so you have no obvious clue which is better.

Is a cherry pie better than an apple pie? Who knows? You have to look it up in the wiki.

The other issue is Starting is Hard. There is no newbie guide, so once you are done with the tutorial, you are seriously on your own. For those that want to learn more, you have to do a LOT of wiki reading. It takes a while even to figure out how your stats get boosted. (it takes X mini-stat gain to get 1 major stat gain, where X is related to what your current base stat is)

Once I get more experience, I think Im gonna write a Newbie Guide and add it to the Wiki. But with 3 days playing under my belt, Ive got a ways... :-)


Hey all, I'm m0r_0cc0, I've been playing this game for well over a year now, It is as addictive as they say. One question, Email me an answer, does anyone know a good HCO strategy?

I am in HCO going to:
HC(quite repetitivly)

Anyone got any help?

Also, a guide to getting rich in MMG:

I have looked a long time for one, so heres a bit of help, there are 2 BASIC ways, and lots others but some not as successful as others.
1. Bet randomly hope to win and get rich
2. Bet in fragments, starting at E.G. 1000meat, every win go back to betting 1000, every loss bet again but multiply last bet by 3. this is good, but a record long streak can lose you a lot, i reccomend doing this if you have 5-10mill, that way, everytime you lose say 6 in a row, you just start again, stops the risk, and you can maket the meat back easily(I used to do this and got +3,456,235 in 2 days
4. Bet the same amount repitivly, this is what i do now,I farm for meat, make about 120k, and bet 10k shells til i hit 300k, then store it in my closet

Hope my knowledge helped you, and yours can help me

Love from m0r_0cc0 (IN GAME NAME)


Love it, (ingame name DarkQueen87) but a thing they should have put more effort into: Making my character a GIRL! I keep doing stuff that's obviously only guy stuff, like "putting the moves" on the lady from the arena (in Drunken Stupor), followed by "something involving some hot Gnoll chick". I just wish they really made my girl a girl, not a guy with long hair & a girl name. Anyway, excellent game. Love how at first the Plains were empty, now loaded with stuff to do, meaning: the game progresses well. It feels like you're going somewhere. I find myself adventuring places for no good reason besides to see what outcomes I can get from certain "pick-&-choose"-style adventures. LOVE IT!!! The epic randomness makes it better!!!! Sorry about all those exclamation points. Later.

JingJang March 21, 2010 5:44 PM

I'm hopped up on goofballs.

kotoktet April 7, 2010 9:02 PM

I've been playing for about a month and I'm a level 8 pastamancer. I'm pretty young, but I still love the humour and get most of the references.
STILL can't beat the Goblin King.
Oh well.


I've just reread my first comments. Oh, how young and foolish I was! Anyway, I'm currently Level 14 and I'm doing the optional quest that has just been added. The one that starts in Uncle P's Antique Shop by

Buying the antique record album.

I'm now stuck at

The point after defeating Professor Jacking. I am in his lab, looking around, trying to work out how to advance. I also (a very proud moment) defeated the Wacken. Now what?


This game is AWESOME!!!!!!! I've seen several advertisements for this, but i've never played it till now. I was an idiot. WHYYYYY!!!


Hey there I am a level 10 accordian thief, I've looked everywhere on the wiki and sites and stuff, but for the "Me and My Nemesis" quest I cannot find the 5th hacienda key. Can anybody tell me what to do?


I absloutely LOVE KOL. I've been playing it for 2yrs now and have ascended 2times. Each time is different and effing hilariously unique.


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