If it's Friday, and you're there and I'm here, then it must mean the tornadoes didn't carry me away last week and I live to prattle on another day! (Special thanks to J-Witz for filling in for me; you make that lustrous, unruly mane look pretty good!) This new lease on life has made me appreciate the important things, like king-size fluffy pillows, yogurt-covered raisins, shoulder rubs, and... uh... what else?... Oh, I guess togetherness and my fellow man or whatever. Junk like that. Fortunately, everyone can appreciate games about fleet-footed little dinosaurs, the bond between a ghost and his egg, and the proper feeding of your undead friends. Maybe one day Lifetime will make a made-for-TV movie out of how touching and important all this is when they run out of "all men are secretly evil/should spend lots of money on you" plot ideas.
- Dino Run: Marathon of Doom - Despite the best efforts of Joe Johnston, I still have a soft spot for dinosaurs. I'm kind of jealous, actually... I mean, if I were to leap onto a stranger's back, shrieking and ripping at the back of their neck with my teeth it'd be frowned upon. (Stupid double standards.) If you're a fan of Pixeljam's addictive retro arcade game Dino Run (and have already checked out Dino Run SE, and why would you not, honestly.) then this simple little race to keep one step ahead of death will be a welcome snack in your day. Mmmm, tastes like extinction!
- Egg and Ghost - I'm a sucker for buddy comedies. Rush Hour, Hot Fuzz, Turner and Hooch... I am all over that! So it's not surprising I was charmed by this oddball defense shooter arcade hybrid about a Ghost doing his best to protect his friend, the silent and unmoving Egg, from wave after wave of baddies. It's just like Milo and Otis, but with less uncontrollable sobbing you have to lie and pretend is because of allergies. With a quirky design and an interesting concept for power-ups, this is a repetitive but clever concept. Plus, it sounds like something the Addams Family has for breakfast. Win!
- Brains Will Roll - To think, all that T-Virus outbreak nonsense could have been avoided if the Umbrella corporation installed a few physics puzzles to keep their ungodly creations happy and satiated. In what the undead sympathisers will likely see as a welcome change, instead of destroying zombies you're trying to feed them some tasty, perfectly spherical brains by removing obstacles so that they can roll down some rotting gullets. You know, this is actually very educational. Nobody should have a zombie unless they're responsible enough to take care of it. After all, it's not like you can lock them in a garden shed and play video games with them. Oh wait.
- Purple Invaders - While the similarities with Red Remover are pretty clear, I'm sure you don't need any more incentive to get rid of the purple interlopers in this physics puzzle game than that icon over there. Look at that guy. He's got a bad attitude. Don't you think you should manipulate momentum and blocks to send him hurling off the edge of the screen, where he'll presumably fall for eternity into an endless nothingness, the harsh sound of his terrified breathing the only break from the silence of the void? At least, that's what happened when we got caught sassing our elders when I was a little girl.
- Choose Your Game - This tongue-in-cheek adventure game is part webtoy and part delicious parody. As you play, the game routinely quizzes you on the sort of things you do or don't like in your games, and then builds a short experience around it. It's actually fairly cut-and-paste, but definitely cute and amusing. Try telling the game you like Massively Multiplayer Online Games and also that you think ads are keen and you'll basically have a near-perfect recreation of playing an MMO, complete with bouncy, clueless, oh-my-God-nobody-likes-you nooblet to follow you around casting unwanted buffs at useless times. Basically, it perfectly encapsulates what my early years in Ultima Online were like.
Nice Shaun of the Dead reference. woo. yay. zombies. yeah. awesome. Myspace.
Ah, Shaun of the Dead. Amazingly, my mother (who hates slapstick and horror/zombie/blood/guts stuff) LOVED it.
Ah.
Choose Your Game: "Do you hate ads?"
Choose "I hate ads! I stop playing when I see an advertisement!"
Nothing happens.
Oh, you.
Is it just me, or does the supposed "boost" in Dino run actually turn your dino around? Pressing shift makes me run the opposite direction, not run faster... Fun games though.
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