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Alan Probe: Amateur Surgeon

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Alan Probe: Amateur Surgeon

PsychotronicUpdate: 3rd and final chapter now available to play!
(Warning: This game features excessive cartoon violence, adult themes and potentially offensive language.)

The story goes like this. Alan Probe is a slovenly pizza delivery boy obsessed with pipe dreams of becoming a master surgeon. One day, while distracted by thoughts of doctorly fame, Alan smacks his delivery van into a staggering hobo, shattering the poor man's rib cage and inadvertently launching them both on a new and fateful career path. Alan Probe: Amateur SurgeonThe fallen vagrant urges Alan to perform emergency surgery on him with whatever tools are handy. Open him up, drag his ribs into place, and sew him back together, easy as pie. Convenient pizza cutter in hand, Alan obliges, directed at every step by his patient and new mentor.

Who is this mysterious hobo? If he was once a successful surgeon, how did he fall so far? What secrets hide in the underbelly of this corrupt and vicious city? Why are everyone's mouths drawn so big?

These are the enigmas of Adult Swim's Alan Probe: Amateur Surgeon, a cartoonish and casually offensive entry into the simon-says-surgery genre made famous(ish) by Atlus' Trauma Center. The gameplay is wide open the same way ducks are eloquent. They are not, and it isn't. Your job is to follow the exact requirements of each surgery as quickly and as accurately as possible. A dashed yellow line means you need to select your pizza cutter and draw along it. An object stuck in a wound is your cue to get out the tongs. An open laceration needs to be stapled shut.

That's right. Instead of surgical stitches, you use a stapler. And your operating surface is a bloody pool table. One of your patients is a man who has attacked himself with a nail gun in order to sue the tool company. His name is Insurance-fraud Claude. If that made you chuckle, or if you're already a fan of Cartoon Network's Adult Swim programming line-up, I think you'll enjoy Amateur Surgeon. If it sounds totally stupid, or gratuitous cartoon violence bothers you, you should probably skip this one.

Alan Probe: Amateur SurgeonThe game will give you instructions as you play, but the gist of it is this. Choose your off-beat surgical implement from a menu at the top of the screen. You can either click on it or press the appropriate number key, which is much faster, and soon becomes necessary since you'll be under time restrictions. When you've dealt with all of your current patient's injuries and stapled him shut, you win the level. If his heart rate drops too low, either because time ran out or you've done the wrong thing too many times, the patient dies, and you'll have to start the level over from the beginning.

When this review was first written there was only the first chapter out of a planned trilogy. Now all 3 Acts are up and available to play with each one comprising about ten episodes and promising many wacky adventures, including secret levels. If you enjoyed this one the first time around, you won't want to miss the conclusion!

Analysis: Amateur Surgeon is blessed with the finest production values a second-tier television network can buy, with bright, detailed environments and an ever-present sense of self-conscious irony. There's even a halfway interesting story, although obviously we're not talking Shakespeare here (unless you mean Titus Andronicus). The violence is so over-the-top that it's not really gross, but there's still plenty of comically intense moments to go around. Especially the stuff with the chainsaw.

Most of your interaction with the game should go pretty smoothly, except for a handful of places where you'll need to be unreasonably fast and precise, touch-pad operators be warned. The game's biggest flaw otherwise is that it's too repetitive. Most of your time is spent searing wounds closed with the lighter and then glopping a numbing gel on the scar, and you have to do it over and over and over again. Most patients are just covered with gashes both inside and out, and while this can be justified by the ridiculous nature of their injuries, it still feels like an artificial method of making the levels longer.

But what can you do? The point of this game is to tell grisly visual jokes and amuse you, not to supply multi-layered strategic gameplay depth. It does its job well, and the gameplay is actually better than it needs to be. Some of the surgeries have a crazy, inventive edge to them that bodes well for the coming chapters. The developers aren't taking themselves at all seriously, which is enough reason to give this a try even if you've already played both Trauma Center and the Dark Cut series. I give it two severed thumbs up. Get to slicin'.

Play Alan Probe: Amateur Surgeon

Walkthrough Guide

(Please allow page to fully load for spoiler tags to be functional.)

They were all fairly straight-forward, except the last one. Here's how you do it:


Slice into the guy and start patching up scars. By now, the (stitch)/cauterize/salve method should be second nature. Once you get the cuts all healed, bugs will pop out of his heart. Grab the car battery (#9 on the line) and start bug zapping. Be VERY careful that you don't kill him off, or else you'll have to restart his heart. Just zap anywhere on the screen and you'll be given about 5 points on the heart monitor; refill to a respectable level with the corkscrew and salve. Once the bugs are dead, patch him up again.

Here's the tricky part:

Now you'll have to perform open heart surgery. Go into the inner chambers of his heart and break out the etch-a-sketch. You'll see a very large, suspicious blob. Cut it open and a few more bugs will race about the screen. Zap them, then zap the hole a few times to get the queen to come out. Repeat this about two more times and the last queen will pop out with about five friends. Kill them all and you'll be taken back outside the heart. Patch up the scar on his heart to be taken back to the skin, and patch that up.

How to Beat Eddy in Act 2

First of all, you need to become an expert at your procedures. By now, closing up wounds, clearing out poison, and the rest should be second-nature to you. However, you need to hone them in to become as efficient as (in)humanly possible. Here's a list of special techniques for your tools:


Odds are, you know that the lighter is the tool to cauterize wounds. However, you may not know why: when wounds are cauterized, they can't leak blood. One of the biggest yet unnoticed hassles of this game is obscured vision due to excess blood. Unless you catch a wound early, the time sucker--I mean, vacuum--will NOT help you in this department. So, whenever you make a cut, memorize its shape, end points, and direction before it gets covered up. Also note that your flame is not produced directly at the tip of your cursor but rather in a cloud-shaped pattern above it. So, when a wound needs to be closed, the cloud itself, not the cursor, controls how quickly it closes. Note also that different wounds have a higher priority, meaning that the lighter will apply its work to a certain scar before the others. Experiment with this, because if you're spending a lot of time on one wound and it's not closing, it's probably because it's looking at your incomplete effort on another wound instead. Before facing Eddy, try tackling one of the very first missions to perfect the timing--it has to spend a certain amount of time on the wound and cover it from tip to tip.

Healing Salve

The salve is a life-saver, quite literally. It slowly returns some of the patient's health--or at least keeps it from dropping quickly--and completes the healing of a wound. It also has a hidden function. Whenever a wound is cauterized, it can spend a certain amount of time before it reopens and starts to bleed again. The salve stops this for good. The salve faces the same problem as the lighter: it produces a cloud-shaped blob above the cursor rather than at the cursor itself. So, adjust your motions accordingly. The same priority applies to the salve as it does to the lighter, so experiment to determine which wounds will heal first. Unlike the lighter, using salve never hurts the patient, so you can hold down the mouse button while dragging the salve over every wound on the board in sequence. Again, practice on Gracefuls or Cletus because you need to spend a certain amount of time and cover the wound from tip to tip.


In order to keep a wound shut, you need to apply staples. Now, round holes usually take one, but other wounds take more. The idea is to get the bare minimum of staples in order to get it closed. Most need to be secured twice: perhaps half an inch near each end, but not too far apart. A third staple might be necessary, but the idea is to use as few as possible lest time be wasted. Finally, when the wound is ready to be cauterized, you'll see an "OK" or similar comment, so watch carefully for it.


This sucks up everything, including time. Generally, for poison, you'll want to suck up all the discolored bits--but it will also suck up stray blood. If you don't get all of the bits within a (very) brief window of time, the poison will leech back into the cut marks and infect again, so act quickly. When dealing with only one poison wound, place the vacuum about 1 to 1.5 inches away from it, on a side that's clear of blood and other wounds. When dealing with two poison wounds, place it somewhere between the two and preferably away from as many other wounds as possible. Make sure to get an "OK" or better before switching out to a different tool--that means you've gotten it all up and it can't spread again. If you need to practice this, try Lumbar, Valerie, and Karl. If you do Karl without too much stress, you'll be golden.


As you know, you need to use this many, many times in order to get a patient back to a steady heartbeat and continue with a surgery. The best advice is to guess how much life you'll need ahead of time and fill 'er up to there. Also, try placing the corkscrew less than an inch below the salve button--at this place, you hardly ever get a cut. Cuts are bad because they take up time, so be careful. Finally, never forget to choose the salve each time; if you need another tool, make sure it's in your hand when you click on it.

Car Battery

At some point when dealing with Eddy, you'll begin to realize that he's not going to make it, usually because you're low on time. Grab the car battery an' give him a jolt to kill him and get back to the beginning faster.

Pizza Cutter and Chainsaw

To tell the difference between a line that requires a pizza cutter and one that needs a chain saw, consider what you're cutting. A chainsaw needs to be called in when you have to cut through bone, metal, and discolored (faulty) organs. The pizza cutter can cut through skin, into the inner chamber of an organ, and into regular flesh (whatever the background may be). However, neither of these are appropriate for the two big red spots on Eddy's stomach because

those are open wounds and need to be stapled shut.

Now then, let's move on to the patient.
Skin Level

Immediately grab the pizza cutter and go to town on the poison marks. Each one should take three whacks to bring the poison to the surface. Get them both open and then put the vacuum cleaner directly between the two. Run your cursor back and forth as you're holding the mouse button town to suck up the mess. Make SURE you see TWO "OK"s or better before grabbing the stapler. Do you see those two huge red marks on Eddy's stomach? Those are bite wounds and need to be stapled shut. It looks like the dog bit the poor guy's kidney, so you'll need to get inside as quickly as possible. Put a staple on each half of the bite to make it shrink down to a manageable scar; finish the wound and hit the others. Clean them all up, and hopefully you'll be at 3:45 or close to it. Now, before slicing in, get his health back up with a few dozen turns of the corkscrew. You need Eddy's health to be between 70 and 90 in order to succeed, so don't skimp on this step! When you're ready, grab the cutter an' dive in.

Phase I

Immediately you'll see more poison growing. Obviously, his damaged kidney will have to wait. Now, this is the hardest part: you need to get all of it up as soon as possible, or else it will spread. Slice open JUST the two on the left. YES, I know that one on the left is tempting. YES, it's getting bigger. NO, don't work on it yet. Open the two on the right and put the vacuum directly between it. Make absolutely sure you remember the positions, end points, and directions of the resulting scars--you'll need to know soon. Once they're both gone, turn your attention to the third. Now, about the time you get it open, you may or may not see a fourth poison. IGNORE IT. Make sure you get all of the third wound up before turning to the fourth. Once you're done, you can turn your attention to the scars.

Phase II

Now, the tricky part is closing up the scars. Odds are, you can't even see them. That's why you memorized where they were, right? ...right?
If not, you'll have to go crazy with the lighter running circles all over them until you get some hits. Remember that some wounds take priority and if you're not closing one, it's probably because another hasn't been fully closed yet. Get them all fixed up an' you can turn your attention to the kidney.

From there, it's insanely straight-forward. You've done the rest on

Meat Sack Jack,

so practice before ye go.

I've decided to include a full-depth walkthrough...


When you start the game, you're thrown right into the first surgery, Dr. Bleed.

File 1 Dr. Bleed is basically a tutorial level. He'll guide you through what to do, and you can click on the text at the bottom to advance it quicker (useful if it's in your way). Simply do as he says and you'll be finished in no time.


The game never tells you, but if you look at the pictures of your tools up at the top, you'll notice they have numbers on them.

Those numbers allow you to select those tools without having to move the cursor all the way up to click on them! This is useful for switching straight to the tongs in order to piece together the ribs in order to keep a combo running, which is necessary to get rank A.

Patient 2: Thomas Gracefuls

This guy fell through the window of the storage room he was trying to rob and got a bunch of glass shards stuck in him.

Fortunately, the storage room just happens to have been newly converted into a clinic!
Again, this is another tutorial level, this time to learn extractions. Follow what Dr. Bleed tells you to do and this shouldn't take long to finish at all.


Try to avoid pulling the shards of glass out too quickly, or else you will get a "Miss" for being to quick. This will break your combo, and thusly your chances of getting rank A. Don't worry though, you can always replay this patient. Also, Dr. Bleed forgot to mention that you can't staple small cuts--you just go straight to cauterizing them. You can check the "help" tab and check out procedures page to see what to do in each situation.

Patient 3: Roadkill Cletus

I reckon' this here fella dun got a porcupine on him! Extract the thorns just like you did the glass from Gracefuls. Dr. Bleed also tells you how to ease the patient's pain, so you don't have to worry so much about heart rate going to 0! Sweet!


When healing, be sure to click the corkscrew (or hit 8) THEN be sure to also click the gel (or hit 4), otherwise you'll wind up with a corkscrew screwing into the patients skin without any gel. Ouch. Also, be sure to do it where there's already a cut or yellow lines at, to avoid creating a new small cut (which will happen no matter how well you follow the red bit if you're not near such a point). Finally, keep in mind that healing the patient will break your combo, so it's best to be used right after a miss, after a long 'pause' (inability to get any 'goods' 'greats' or 'awesomes'), or at the start of the surgery.

Patient 4: Insurance Fraud Claude

This guy abuses himself based on what lables don't say, in order to make a fortune by suing hardware companies. His most recent form of abuse was shooting himself with a nail gun and drinking paint, though you're focusing on the nails.

Patch up his wounds, and Dr. Bleed will tell you about using the Etch-a-Sketch. Use it, equip the cutter, keep track of where the black spots were, and cut there. Typical extraction method follows.


In order to keep your combo, when revealing a buried object (the black spots on the etch-a-sketch), hold the mouse button down and move it around until the object is revealed. If it's revealed right away, go ahead and let go of the button.

Patient 5: Trent Coat

This guy has bullets in him and has a bogus story as to how they got there. But hey, he's got a lot of money, so who cares?

This level doesn't introduce anything new, it's just here to see how well you've been learning things so far.

No tips here...

Patient 6: Junkyard Guts

Gus (AKA Guts) works at the junkyard. He's the custodian and, it seems, the food disposal. Something he ate, however, is disagreeing with him...

Once you cut into him, you'll have to get his rib cage out of the way. Follow Dr. Bleed's instructions, making sure to get ALL the yellow lines. Extract any bone shards, seal the wounds, scan for the problem, remove it... What the?! Looks like you've got more things to extract! Afterwards, you'll have to put the rib cage back in--Hey, it acts just like a small wound! Burn it, gel it, good as new! The two parts involving the ribcage might slow you down, but otherwise this level is pretty simple.


When using the chainsaw to cut out the ribcage, you cannot release the button or else it will undo it and count a "Miss" against you. Ouch!

Going too slowly with the chainsaw will cause you to fail due to being "too slow" or something, though I haven't experienced that myself. Going too QUICKLY might cause you to accidently skip some lines, and they're a pain to get back to if you've already reached another side.

UNLIKE the chainsaw part, you can release the mouse button while burning/geling the ribcage.

Patient 7: "Lumbar" Jack Piles

This Lumberjack has back problems... Cut on in and see what's wrong. Dr. Bleed will tell you that those green 'clouds' are poison--Cut them open! Each cloud takes three cuts to burst, and you'll want to use the vacuum right away before the liquid seeps back into the tissue to cause more poison clouds. Don't worry, it won't seep in quicker just because there are cuts there.


Try to get all three cuts on top of eachother. This way, when you're sealing them up, you can just keep moving over the same spot! Like with the black spots on the etch-a-sketch, try holding down the mouse button and moving around a bit if you don't make a cut right away.

Patient 8: Eddy the Dog

This guy's an odd one--was he a dog-human hybrid or something? Anyways, you'll have to get some tracker chips out of him and then remove the collar. First, get the tracking chips. They're buried, so scan away and take Dr. Bleed's instructions. Yikes! Fire! You'll need to vacuum up some blood to squirt it back out onto the fire with the vacuum, so be sure to pull out the shard that appeared so that hole can produce some blood.

Once you've gotten rid of the tracking chips, it's time to cut off that collar. It's pretty durable, so you'll need your chainsaw. Pull away the pieces as you cut them off.


Try to avoid using the vacuum two consecutive times without getting a good/great/awesome. It might ruin your combo if you do.

Patient 9: Meatsack Jack

Is this guy a butcher? He's come across some fresh organs, which he wants you to replace his shoddy ones with. Dr. Bleed will guide you through how this all works.

No tips, these things have already been covered in previous ones.

Patient 10: Horace

This guy is creepy... Anyways, Bleed went outside, so he can't help you here. Alan will mention that the battery can be used to start the heart back up--though that really only works if you stopped it via the battery in the first place.

Cut on in, seal up the wounds... Well, looks like we got ourselves an insect infestation! Shock them buggers! If you accidentally miss, shock Horace again to start his heart again, though only back up to 5 (lower if it was lower when you stopped the heart). The rest of the level plays through this simply, too.


The ants can bite Horace, inflicting a 'burn.' If there are enough burn marks, the ants will begin to start fires when they bite, so be careful!

This is the end of File 1!


Patient 1: Officer Hack Brutality

This guy barges 'in' shouting at Alan and Bleed. Once he learns they're surgeons, he asks for their help, though refuses to say why.

Well, may as well cut him open. Whoa! Gray clouds! These act just like green clouds, so cut 'em thrice and vacuum. After that, seal up the wounds, and scan. ...I don't even know what those things are... Whatever they are, extract them, seal the wounds up, bla bla bla... Once you cut into the stomach, you'll find that he swallowed a pair of handcuffs (what the hell?!), so chainsaw 'em and remove 'em.

No tips.

Patient 2: Vince "Petroleum" Blownapart

This guy siphons out oil from cars. Looks like somebody didn't like that, and attacked him... Well, it seems he only needs some stapling and sealing! Wait... Fire?! Crud, he's covered in oil... It's a straight through operation, though.


Go a bit slowly at first. Get a couple of staples into a big gash for an awesome/great, wait a bit, do that with another... You wanna get some blood to put out the fires!

Patient 3: Valerie

This person is a prostitute who has MS. Looks like it's time to do some brain surgery! Cut up the cranium with your chainsaw, extract the skull shards, seal the wounds, cut out the black brain with your chainsaw, take it off... What the hell are those?! Well, whatever they are, you need to burn them. ...Uh oh, looks like burning them leaves some poison. You know what to do, though, so go for it! The rest is straightforward.


You may want to 'heal' her a few times before you cut her cranium. Incase you forgot, healing is Corkscrew with Gel.

Patient 4: Edgar Stubbington the Third (Esquire)

This guy isn't injured at all, but he is spooked about the fact that somebody's been attacking criminals, and he happens to be a criminal. So, he was steroids in him. Implanting steroids is basically the opposite of extracting things. Straight forward.

No tips necessary.

Patient 5: Donny Debonair (Pimp Extraordinaire)

This guy wants parts of him to be blinged up. Fun stage with a mini-game, which I'll cover below in "Blingatize."

The primary operation is fairly straightforward until the gold bar. After cutting out the ribcage, use your pizza cutter to cut out that rectangle. Put the bar in place and staple the left and right sides--five spread equally (It might just be three per side, just one in each corner and one in the middle of the left and right sides). Then, burn it and gel it.


When you start it up, cut on in. Replace the kidney. When you back out, put a staple in one of his nipples, then staple up the wound, follow up with stapling the other nipple, then seal the wound. Once you reach the gold bar bit, put a staple in the dot of the i, then the five staples mentioned above. The ribcage should fill the bling meter up all the way. This will unlock Stuporman.

Patient 6: Stinkin' Joe Garbage & Ted

Simply seal his wounds up and go into his colon. Follow the wounds as they appear with your cursor while you have the battery selected. After a bit, Ted will pop out. Zap him a few times if possible, if you don't finish him just wait until he pops out again. Once you finish this part, seal up the cuts and back out, finished with this opera--Wait, more cuts?! Looks like Ted didn't die off just yet. Go into the heart after sealing the wounds. Follow the cuts and continue zapping Ted until Bleed tells you you're done. Seal up the wounds, scan, unbury Ted, cut him out, gently pull him out. Seal up, and back out, sealing the cuts as you do so. Fairly quick, eh?


Three zaps will finish off Ted, and you can zap him three times each time he pops out if you're quick enough; however, if you want an A, only zap him once each time he pops out. Make sure to cauterize the wounds right after zapping him once while in the heart--you should be able to cauterize 3 and switch to the battery to zap him again before he pops out.

Patient 7: Bug-eater Peter

This guy had a pet Komodo Dragon named Mr. Caruthers, who he likes to dress up like a person. Anyways, Mr. Caruthers refused to eat his caviar, so Peter ate it to show him it was delicious--but somebody replaced the fish eggs with spider eggs! Now, he's got some spider eggs stuck in him! Simply cut one egg, cut out one poison cloud, vacuum it up, cut the other one, vacuum it up, then seal the cuts. Repeat with the other two eggs.

No tips necessary.

Patient 8: Karl Pachino

Wow this is one hyper dude. Normally, you'd be worried about keeping the heart rate UP--but this time, you wanna keep it DOWN. While there's coffee in him, his heart rate will keep going up, and if it hits 200, he'll crash! He'll even crash if you make one mistake, so make sure you choose the vacuum for the caffeine, NOT the chainsaw.

Cut out the caffeine pockets, vacuum them up, but do NOT seal the wounds--you want them to bleed to keep the heart rate from sky rocketing. Once you finish vacuuming up the third, scan with the etch-a-sketch and unbury the coffee tablets. cut them out, then, one at a time, pull it out and cut and vacuum the caffeine. Once you finish up with the sixth caffeine cloud (the three before the pills and the three after them), you can seal up his wounds. It isn't too hard to get a high score on this patient.

No tips.

Patient 9: Animal the Cannibal

This guy's a nutcase! Why else would he be in a straightjacket?! Well, in any case (be it nut or not), he's eaten something that doesn't agree with him. Cut him open and... Whoa, bones? Pull them out. Seal the holes they made, and cut open his stomach... Yikes! This guy really is a cannibal! Pull out some of the things, they aren't stuck into anything so you can pull them right out, except the skull and pelvic bone, which you have to saw apart to remove.


Pulling out the parts inside his stomach won't count towards your combo, but they won't count against it either. Just be sure you saw a bit of the pelvic bone before the combo timer runs out (and no, as far as I know, there's nowhere for you to see it at) if you want to manage to get rank A.

Patient 10: Eddy the Dog (2)

Hey, it's our old friend Eddy the Dog! Looks like somebody's sicked a real dog onto him--he's hurt, badly. Each half of that large gash is basically a large cut--Just staple, cauterize, and gel. You can either staple up the large cuts first and then go to the poison pockets or visa-versa, as long as you don't let him lose too much health. Once you finish up his outside, go inside and fix around the kidneys--this time, poison pockets first--the rest is straight forward.


Poison clouds/pockets and open cuts will lower health, but poison pockets do so faster than small cuts. I'm not sure which does it quicker out of poison and large cuts, though, but the large chunk of missing skin seems to bleed quickly.

And so ends file 2...


Patient 1: Trent Coat (2)

Looks like the mystery assailant has gotten to Trent. He's got the broken tip of a knife in him, as well as a bunch of cuts and even a poison pocket right where the knife is. Ignore the knife until you finish up with everything (including the poison) besides it and the large cut it's stuck in. When you pull it out... Whoa, scorpions! They've got tough armor, so whip out your chainsaw and chop them three times. Trying to hold it on them won't work for some reason.

On the inside, once you finish up what was already there, scan for the nest. The nest can only be harmed with the chainsaw, so saw away! I personally suggest taking out one of the scorpions that came out with it first and continue sawing the nest until the nest shows Good/Great/Awesome, then suck it up, saw nest, repeat. Once you get the queen out, you can hold the saw on her, but if one of the black scorpions goes under your cursor, it'll make the saw hit that black one and stop hitting the queen until you release the mouse button and click her again.

I don't really know if I could put any tips onto this besides what I've already said...

Patient 2: Bug-eater Peter (2)

Eww, this guy is both green and puking. Something happened to him since the last time you saw him--seems he's got a bigger spider infestation. Maybe you missed some before? Anyways...

Repeat the process for getting rid of the spiders as the first time you operated on him. Eventually, you'll need to scan for the nest--hurt the nest by zapping it, and kill the queen ant by zapping it. It might take a few times to actually kill the queen, and once you zap her without killing her, she'll dissapear and make another nest where you zapped her at. Just make sure you get the poison pockets that spiders make when you open up the nest--no need to seal them until after you zapped the queen though (even if she simply makes a new nest, that's still a good time to seal the wounds).

Again, what's necessary has been said already. No tips.

Patient(s) 3: Ivan Henchman & Crime Boss

That's right, you have to patients in one operation! Well, it's sort of two (each has their own time and health meter), but if you fail the second one you have to start back at the first one, I think.

First, you'll work on Boss. I suggest healing him a few times (to about 40) before you actually start. It's pretty straightforward until you get inside him. Yes, those are leeches. Ignore them for now, they DO prevent bleeding, after all (or atleast they should, I didn't have him dying on me when I ignored them following the healing bit, and if I remove them, I still need that healing bit from before). Fix the two wounds after extracting the stuff, then fix the lungs. After you finish doing that, go ahead and burn the leeches, following that up by using the tongs to remove their dead bodies and then their jaws.

Same goes for Henchman (you shouldn't need to heal him since you aren't going to do any chainsawing), but you'll have to get some leeches on the outside first, and there's a queen leech on his heart--Get her out of the way FIRST, once you take a look at the heart. Then, deal with the already existing cuts and such before dealing with the leeches that spawned off her corpse.

Tips? No, sorry, not here...

Patient 4: Junkyard Guts (2)

Gus is back! Seems that some lady offered him a sandwhich, which he scarfed down quickly, despite the fact that it tasted like metal and came from a total stranger. Take a look inside, and... Whoa! A bomb! There's some food in your way that you'll wanna get rid of. You have to cut the wires in the proper numerological order, you can scan to get the numbers of each wire. Then, gently remove the firing pins (those white things below the wires), after which you want to burn those things that say "3A" on them. Do that, seal up the cut you made, and you're done.

For me, the order of the wires is ALWAYS orange, blue, brown, green, red. It might be so for you, too. The food won't count towards your counter, and doesn't count against it--Be sure to just remove two or three bits, then cut the orange wire quickly before removing more. You HAVE to have removed all the food to pull out the firing pins, but NOT to cut the wires.

Patient 5: Aureola Svelte

The assailant herself, the girl who psychotically (yet understandibly) follows and attacks criminals. Turns out, she was actually looking for that French guy, Horrace (who is actually Dwayne Pipe), not Dr. Bleed. She grabbed the partially defused bomb that had been removed from Guts' guts, not realizing it wasn't fully defused, and it blows up on her.

You might wanna heal her a couple of times to start off with. Pull out the glass shards, get some blood, put out the fire. On her liver there are two hidden bomb shards, which you treat like tracking chips. The whole level pretty much plays like this.


Remember how I told you to go a little slowly with Vince? Well, after you heal Aureola a few times, remove a glass shard, wait a bit (perhaps healing any burn marks from the fireballs shot off from the fire), take out the other one, then vacuum the blood, in order to put out the fire. Put the fire out, suck up blood, staple one wound, wait a bit, cauterize it, wait, gel, vacuum the blood around the other one, then just flat out seal that second one. You'll need the blood now if you want high combos.

Patient 6: Dr. Ignacious Bleed (2)

Looks like Dwayne was the cause of Dr. Bleed's failed surgeries! Now, he's used the poison he used on all those patients back then on Bleed himself! This has caused a LOT of different problems. You'll have to use all the skills you've learned before in order to cure him...

Kidneys: Cut out all four poison pockets, then vacuum up the first that you cut (you can suck both of the top ones up at the same time) and then the rest in order of when you cut them. Afterwards, get some blood, and seal up the wounds.

Lungs: Fire! Use your blood to put out all the fires EXCEPT the two on that red lump sticking out the cut. Once you put the others out, simply pull that red lump out--the fires are on IT, not the tissue. Seal up the wound.

Liver: There are some sharp crystals stuck in his liver. Pull them out and seal the cuts--Then, scan for the remaining two, cut them out, remove, seal cuts.

Heart: There's a parasite in his heart--You'll have to zap it just like you did with Ted. Try zapping it multiple times per time it sticks it's head out. Five zaps will kill it, after which you can seal the cuts, scan for him, remove him, seal that hole.


You'll want to be careful but swift. If you think you need to heal him, you should only need to do it at most once. The buried crystals are always in the same spot in the liver, so once you've memorized their location, you can get to them without scanning.

Patient 7: Horrace

Yes, his name is really Dwayne Pipe, but I don't want you knowing that without opening up any second-layer spoilers. Anyways, Officer Brutality caught him fleeing the scene and has begun brutally beating Dwight--until Dwight complains about his stomach, which something is happening to.

Turns out Alan missed some bugs--namely, a monster centipede thing. When you open up areas of him, you'll notice those small cuts that appear like when there's a parasite--but nothing will pop up under normal conditions. You'll need to use the chainsaw right infront of the most recent cut to appear, hold it down just a bit, so that you break off a chunk and release a bug queen of some sort. Kill off that bug and her lackies, then go to the next part, repeating the process.

Sorry, no tips, really...

End of the primary game! However, you've unlocked DeLirium from this, so you may want to swing over to the secret files...


I'm numbering the patients here based on the order they're shown, but I'm listing them in order of when you can unlock them.

Patient 2: Stuporman

How to unlock: Finish the Blingitize submission with Donny Debonair in File 2.

Look over there! It's a Gourd, it's a Dame, no, it's Stuporman! Faster than a receding mullet, more powerful than... Well, you get the point, he's awesome, or so he says. Go go gadget feet, carry him to some surgeons! This Kraptonian (a person from the planet Krapton) has been poisoned by his nemesis, Les Loser, with Kraptonite. You'll have to remove it.

At first, this works just like the bullets in Trent Coat from file 1, but once you get to the second inside-zone, he'll have gotten tougher, so much so that the pizza cutter won't cut him anymore. You'll have to use the chainsaw as though it were the pizza cutter now! Other than that, it's still the same as before.

No tips necessary at this point.

Patient 1: BUM

How to unlock: Get atleast 100,000 points. I've heard it has to be on non-secret file missions, but I'm not sure on that.

Bio-Utility Mechanoid, or BUM, as people call it based of it's initials, is a robot with some trouble in it's circuiting. First, put something damp onto the red 'button' (in other words, gel it like a burn mark) to open the hatch. There are some battery like capsules, some brown liquid that came from them, and some debris scattered around. The debris acts like burn marks, and you need to vacuum up the brown stuff in order to put it into the capsules. After that, use the lighter on the hole you inserted the liquid through.

Next, the wires of the battery are torn a bit. You'll need to connect them using metal (staples, for example), and then you'll have to give it power-LOTS of power. Zap each of the newly-stapled wires once, then zap the battery in the middle.


Once you've opened the hatch, quickly suck up some of the brown liquid. Switch to the gel, use it on one debris mark, switch to the vacuum, fill up a capsule... Do this with all of them to keep the combo up.

Patient 3: DeLirium

How to unlock: Finish all twenty-seven primary operations.

WARNING: Due to a glitch involving the third pipe, you can only try to fix DeLirium ONCE each time you load the game. In other words, if you wanna try to fix it again, you'll have to refresh the page.

DeLirium, being a car, is made of mostly metal, meaning you'll be using the chainsaw, not the pizza cutter. The hood is like a ribcage, just cut it of, remove... In fact, the whole level is pretty much straight-forward. When moving the empty cylinder to the tray, though, make sure that you got the whole thing on the tray, not just the bottom.

No tips for this.


Ha, didn't notice the play on words in the main character's name at first.


plerplexux February 27, 2008 1:59 PM

Let me help you out right now. I played this a while back and when you get to it the corkscrew and pain reliever is hard to get at first. Click on the corkscrew then the pain reliever, both should light up. Click on a spot on the body, main arteries are better, then you should see a circle with a red space. Keep you mouse on the space for a full revolution and it will give the guy more life.

Let me know if anyone gets to the secret level.


Fun game. Can't wait for the next act to come out.

Though, my biggest complaint would have to be how you need to "load" the corkscrew every time you want to use it, even if you JUST used it. Can't tell you how many times I've been trying heal a patient's heart rate, only to end up just accidentally just stabbing into them -_-


They were all fairly straight-forward, except the last one. Here's how you do it:


Slice into the guy and start patching up scars. By now, the (stitch)/cauterize/salve method should be second nature. Once you get the cuts all healed, bugs will pop out of his heart. Grab the car battery (#9 on the line) and start bug zapping. Be VERY careful that you don't kill him off, or else you'll have to restart his heart. Just zap anywhere on the screen and you'll be given about 5 points on the heart monitor; refill to a respectable level with the corkscrew and salve. Once the bugs are dead, patch him up again.

Here's the tricky part:

Now you'll have to perform open heart surgery. Go into the inner chambers of his heart and break out the etch-a-sketch. You'll see a very large, suspicious blob. Cut it open and a few more bugs will race about the screen. Zap them, then zap the hole a few times to get the queen to come out. Repeat this about two more times and the last queen will pop out with about five friends. Kill them all and you'll be taken back outside the heart. Patch up the scar on his heart to be taken back to the skin, and patch that up.


Help, I can't staple up the guys smallest wounds... how do you do it??


Grrr... This is a fun game, but I keep running out of time before I can finish with Insurance Fraud Claude, no matter what I can't finish in time! Anyone have any tips to beat this level?


I love this game! It kept me busy for an hour or so while I was bored out of my mind at work. A little short and on the easy side but it's a good no-brainer game that you can beat even if your attention is divided seven diffrent ways!

Every one needs a little fun and gore in their life?


GG: You're not supposed to use the staple on the smallest wounds. If you look in the Help thing on the lower-left, there's a section on "Procedures" that lists exactly what you have to do in surgery, with a nice little picture to help recognition. Honestly, that page should be the default help page; it's a lot more helpful than the one about your tools.


How is score and rank calculated? I have mostly Cs except one F and one B, and 3 more patients to go. Is it just based on speed and accuracy? (and combos I guess)


Great game, funny and gory... completed it, but can't find the keys for the secret area! Any clues?


Finished them all, can't wait for Act II.

It's disturbing how much I enjoy this game.....


hola... i cannot seem to get the corkscrew to work. i click the corkscrew and then the cream, and allow it to turn one full revolution, but it always messes up. does anyone have more hints on how to make it work? besides that, the game is great. thanks.


risma: you have to follow the red with the cursor for one full revolution. This also helps a lot with the vaccum. Everyone be sure to read the help guide if you need it, pretty much everything's in there and the time doesn't change while reading.


I cant get past Eddy, the one with the tracking devices and collar. he loses too much health each time i burn one of them and it explodes :(


i cant get past cletus! the stupid corkscrew is the worst way to do anything ever in the whole world and it shouldnt take so long to do!!!


Very entertaining, can't wait for more! My only complaint is the chainsaw sections, as they're *really* difficult... especially on a laptop. ;-;

If you're stuck check the help section in-game.


for some reason, sometimes one of the small wounds will refuse to cauterize properly, and it keeps telling me I've hit the wrong area. So I'm stuck at Claude right now because I can't progress on his 'healing'.


I love this game. Especially the last patient... talk about weird.

I guess I was lucky to "get" the corkscrew the first time around. It's not really that hard to use. Every time you see the patients heart drop below 10, click corkscrew, click gel, hold button and follow the red area with your cursor. Rinse and repeat until the heartrate goes over 40. Easy! Although I do agree that the "loading" step seems redundant.

Another thing that seems kinda buggy is that sometimes the burn tool will "miss" even though you follow the wound correctly. The easies way to avoid this is to "overstaple" every large wound.

For the last patient (I'll spoilerize this just in case):

If you miss a bug, a heart will stop. Just click again with the battery anywhere on the screen and the heart will start again. You might need to use the corkscrew to get the heartrate up, though.

Can't wait for Act II!

Insurance Fraud Claude February 28, 2008 5:33 AM

Insurance Fraud Claude:

The lower of the two nail holes requires more than one staple. I had to burn the hell out of him a few times first to understand this!


I think I love this game!!

Is something wrong with me? :-S


Please will someone tell me how to get past Eddy? I removed all of his chips, then i removed the nails e.t.c. Then it said that i had to cut his collar with the chainsaw on the dotted line. I did that and nothing happened. It just said Great and nothing else. I am so confused. Will someone please help me?


Nikola- you need to remove the 1st part of the collar with the claps after you chainsaw it. Then it lets you move on the next part of the collar.



Use tongs to remove the pieces of collar


here's a good tip: to check if your wound is ready to be cauterize, make sure that when you staple it you see the word "OK", "GOOD" or "AWESOME" in white letters in a green box.
This is your signal that you've stapled it correctly and that its ready to be burnt


Anyone knows how to get A ? I have mostly C and 2 B but can't get any A!!!


does anyone know to unlock the secret levels?


the 2nd one is hard i do what have to do and he just dies


I've finally managed to get nearly all A's: I have a B on Jack and a C on Eddy though. Total Score is currently 441,240 with a Time of 20:33.

Tips for higher scores:
*Go for combos - need a Great or Awesome to count towards a combo; if you have a Good, OK, or Miss, you will lose your combo

*Go for speed - the faster you are, the higher your score


How can a game be so amusing and gross at the same time? I can't wait for Act 2! Who is the girl? Why did the doc change his mind? The suspense!


anybody know where the keys are, to the secret levels?


corey-I'd guess that the secret levels haven't been implemented yet.


I played the first act on the adultswim site a little while back. I was surprised that I found it to be pretty fun.

I'm also wondering how to get to the secret levels.


Can anyone tell me how to get past junk, I can't get his ribcage out, i can cut it open but whenever i try and lift it out and put it on the tray it just drops back in!


its ok soon as i posted I got it to work, typical!



Final surgery was gross and cool at the same time!

Looking forward to the next act!


this is just ...weird... i find it disturbing that i liked it... ew....


Is there any trick to get past Eddy?


i need help getting past junk, i put his ribcage back and cauterized it and everithing but now nothing happens




The keys to the secret level are given only if you have A-s on all the patients.


how to get past eddy:

Eddy is really the first guy that needs the corkscrew. Here's how you do it. Select the corkscrew, then the pain medicine. Then, click and hold, and follow the red thing that's circling around the spot where you clicked with the mouse while still holding it down. Make sure the mouse is always on the red spot, otherwise you'll hurt the guy or create a small cut. That boosts his heart rate if you do it right. Get rid of all the chips, then just chainsaw the collar on the dotted line and remove it piece by piece with the tongs. Then you're done!

THat wasn't so hard now was it?


i cant wait for acts 2 and 3!


Anyone remember the game 'Life and Death'?

JekelKat March 2, 2008 9:19 AM

This game rocks, although the bug in the heart chamber kind of gave me the willies and he was a tough turtle to drown...

I want to know when Act II is coming out!


I liked the game. Some elements could have been more intuitive or better explained, such as following the red on the corkscrew/salve. It would have been nice to see the vacuum fill and empty because I could never tell how much blood I had left (not to mention I could never figure out just where to hit the fire). There were also a few situations where I couldn't see the remaining wound because it was too red on red or next to an artery where it just looked like part of the outline.

Overall, though, pretty cool and an entertaining way to waste some time. Look forward to the next episodes. :)


Anyone have any hints for getting an A on Eddy? I can't seem to keep up the combos with the burning of the chip or the putting out of the fire.

ALEJANDRA March 3, 2008 7:06 PM

umm how do you beat eddy in the game? it is so hard so please leave me a message as soon as possible

thank you


idk how to get past graceful
the second guy
when i go to burn the top right wound on the inside, it says i missed, when im clearly over it

is there some kind of trick?


In order to get an A you must perform every surgical proceedure with not one single mistake. Your points add up exponentially with each Awesome message you see.

Anonymous March 5, 2008 8:37 AM

How can I get an "A" on Dr. Bleed? When I put his rips back in place I am always receiving an "OK", no matter how quick I am...

Anonymous March 6, 2008 12:57 PM

How exactly do you burn the microchips on eddy? I mean, every time i burn them the explode and the "miss" sign appears. Is there a specific place on the microchip where i should place the fire?

JimmyJack March 7, 2008 12:44 PM

Here's the breakdown on the grading system:

To get a C:
Basically just finish the level without messing things up too bad

To get a B:
Complete the level without any 'misses'. You'll know a miss because it will harm the patient (the screen flashes red and patient groans - plus a "MISS" notice will appear on screen and you will have to start over on combos)

To get an A:
Finish the level without any 'misses' and within certain time parameters.

I currently have an 'A' for everyone besides the last 3. I'll post the times that got me 'A's in spoiler format:

Bleed: 0:15, Gracefuls: 1:46, Cletus: 2:25, Claude: 2:18, Trent: 2:32, Junk: 1:14, Lumbar: 1:28
I have 'B's on the last 3 and my times for them are:
Eddy: 2:41, Jack: 1:37, Horrace: 4:44

Anonymous March 7, 2008 3:56 PM

who here has gotten all A's using a laptop? The only ones I havent gotten A's on are Bleed, Junk, Eddy, and Jack

i hate you eddy


does anyone know how to get past guts. whenever i get like to or three lines away from finishing it makes me start over again.

Anonymous March 8, 2008 5:36 AM

how do you get an A on any of these people? i can do bleed and the second guy flawlessly but still i only have Bs . . . help?


A neat trick I found: On wounds you have to staple, use the lighter quickly on each staple to prevent extra damage and quickly cauterize the wound. You don't need to sweep along the length of the cut. Same goes for the gel afterwards. The little ones that you don't staple need to be swept to some degree.

Using this trick, I've healed every patient with an A except Eddy. The chips always say Awesome & Miss at the same time, then explode. Anyone got those figured out?

Anonymous March 11, 2008 4:55 AM

How do you beat eddy I got all A's on everyone but him.
To get all A's you need to have a quick time on each patient plus get all awesome's or great's when performing each task.


how do i get past junk????

i took his ribcase out, healt him, and poot the case back, put gell on it and done...

what do i need to do now?? i just see his ribcase, no injuries ore something...


How do you put out the fires in Eddy, i never get past that!?

Anonymous March 12, 2008 10:21 PM

Please please please. Ineed help with eddy. There must be another way to burn those darn microchips without getting the miss sign. Anyone?

Anonymous March 13, 2008 5:14 AM

I got all A's on every patient including eddy but there's no key, so where's the key.
To beat Eddy
1. Make the incision to open up Eddy.

2. Use corkscrew and medicine on an area if you do this correctly it should create a small cut without harming eddy if not try again that usally works.

3. Locate one of the chips once located quickly go to the lighter and burn it if done correctly you will not get a miss sign then quickly suck up the blood from the cut done with the corkscrew to put out fire. Fix whatever damange is from the explosion make sure the vacuum always has blood in it.

4. Locate the second chip and repeat step 3. Make sure you fix the wound done with the corkscrew. Then staple Eddy up and make the next incision.

5. Locate one of the chips do the samething as in step 3
locate the other chip and do samething as in step 3.

6. Fix the wound on the outside chainsaw the collar off pick up pieces with tongs and your done.

If done quickly without any miss's, ok's, good's you should get an A. Hopefully this helps.


Act ii now up! Also, isn't there a better explanation on how to burn the chips in Eddy besides "if done correctly you will not get a miss sign?"


Act 2 is now out. Haven't figured out what to do about the first guy though. He has a clogged colon, which is easy to fix, but it looks like smoke/poison as well. No matter what I do, I can't seem to remove the poison in THIS character. I was able to do it in Act 1. Perhaps someone can give it a try and let me know what I am doing wrong.


Ok Act 2 is up did anybody get pass Brutality the first guy, everytime I try to suck up puss, it spreads, I cant get it to stop........... ewww its making me itch a little gross

Russell Scott March 13, 2008 3:31 PM

Finally beat brutality, wasn't easy.

When you first cut him open, immediately cut open the three smoking areas with three cuts each and vacuum up the puss, or they will spread too fast to keep up with. Then tend to the cuts, then the hidden objects. The rest is easy.


it took me a while to finish the Brutality guy on Act II.

try sucking the bottom poison first. it seems to be the biggest one from the start. if you try doing the others, the bottom gets bigger and can even spread more after cutting it.


Oh my gosh...

Anyone got any tips to pwn Joe and his.. friend? >__<


Ok, finally finished Act II - will have to go back and better my scores (only B's and C's right now) -- just wanted to get through it one time first. Great job again ... but, wow, much more difficult!

Russell Scott March 13, 2008 5:28 PM

For Joe's tapeworm:

It takes 3 shocks the kill it each time, do them all the first time it appears, careful not to shock too many times or you'll have to shock him again to restart his heart and then give him a couple injections.


Aaargh! You must play through Act 1 to get to Act 2 in Amateur Surgeon, and my cookies are erased. Damn it.

Also, there seems to be a new bug in Act 1 - the cut ribcage in Junkyard Joe level is replaced with glass shard which can get confusing.


Actually, it seems the surgeon is buggy as hell now. The last level in Act 1 is unplayable for me - the bugs start moving at lightning speed and then disappear altogether, making the level impossible to pass.

I didn't even get to see Act 2. :(

Anonymous March 13, 2008 7:07 PM

Brutality is impossible for me. I'll do all three of those gray puss clouds, but once I cauterize the cuts, MORE and MORE and MORE puss clouds keep appearing and spreading and I just can NOT stop them. There's just no way. I'm really fast @ this game, and I breezed thru Act I, but even w/ my speed I can't fix these clouds fast enough. It has to be a glitch. The advice of cutting the "3" clouds, vacuuming the poison (or whatever it is) out, then tending to the wounds does NOT work because these clouds just keep spreading. It's impossible.

Russell Scott March 13, 2008 7:30 PM

cut all three clouds immediately before starting to vacuum any of them, then vacuum, by the time you get to vacuuming the third one some new clouds may appear, finish vacuuming then take care of the new clouds, if you are as fast as you say you are you should be able vacuum the first two without new clouds forming near them, so the new clouds will be close to each other and be taken care of with one vacuuming. IMPORTANT!!!: leave the cuts until you've gotten rid of ALL the poison.


HOw do I beat Velerie in Act II? I remove the Shards (or whatever) from her Brain and then I don't know what to do ... Any help?

Anonymous March 13, 2008 8:01 PM

No disrespect intended, Russ, but you're 100% wrong on this.
I've done that. Cut all three. Vacuumed all three. Cauterized all three. WHILE I'm finishing the 3rd one, another cloud appears beneath it. When I begin to cut that one, it spreads off into two other clouds. This causes the heart rate to start dropping significantly. When I stop tending to the clouds/wounds to use the Pain Away to increase the heart rate, the clouds just keep growing and multiplying. Between the multiplying clouds, the quicker drop in heart rate, and the slow speed of the vacuum vs. the size of the poison that comes out the wounds...it makes this patient almost impossible, regardless of how fast I am.
Someone has to come up w/ a better solution than: cut, vacuum, heal...because it is not that simple.


Game won't load for me :-/
Just a bright blue screen.

Russell Scott March 13, 2008 8:37 PM

I've created a video and am posting it to youtube as i post, regarding your statement as to slow vacuum, are you following the red area during use?


Alright. I tried Brutality more than a dozen times. Here's the trick I found to beat him.

Open him up, and as fast as you can, cut open all three puss spots, starting on the upper left and ending with the lower right.
Take the vacuum and place it smack dab between the upper left spot and the middle spot. (Make sure your using it correctly, with your mouse following the moving red bar.) This way, you should be able to finish both spots at once. Then hurry up and finish the third. Cauterize all three. Pain relieve all three. Having killed two birds with one stone, you should finish before new spots form.


For Valerie:

You need to saw her brain in half and remove the black part. Cauterize ONE of the black areas. It will turn into a pus spot. Handle that like you normally would. repeat for the other two. The rest is just replacing things.


also how do you get the handcuffs out of the first person, i tried cutting it I also tried the chainsaw...nothing worked

Russell Scott March 13, 2008 9:30 PM

the video is uploading very slow, and ive beaten act II. i never knew those were grades, i always thought the C was for complete. I hope we dont have to do them all A's to unlock the secrets...

Anonymous March 13, 2008 10:04 PM

How do you beat Eddy in Act 2? Every time I get to the poison it just keeps spreading and he dies. Help please?

Anonymous March 13, 2008 11:14 PM

Alan Probe ep 1 was great fun, ep 2 is just frustrating - pretty much unplayable.


Now I can't get past the coffee guy. He keeps dieing even when I don't think I could have done anything to injure him. Is there some maximum heart rate he crashes at?


The last guy in act 1 seems to be bugged for me (no pun intended). The bugs inside the heart just zoom around faster than I can see and I only catch little flashes of them as they teleport around the screen. :( What a shame, I really liked this game.


is anyone else not getting a loaded page, just a blue one?

subtlegoat March 14, 2008 1:43 AM

It might just be me and my strange internet connection or cookies, but earlier I was able to play Amateur Surgeon part 2, and now it has gone back to the old version, where part 2 is locked. Very odd!


I'm having some interesting issues with act 2 of this game as well. On the Edgar level, I can't seem to pick up the pill or I randomly drop it. This is bad of course as dropping it on an organ is instant death. Anyone else seeing this or am I doing something wrong?

Anonymous March 14, 2008 2:25 AM

Okay, I took a break earlier and went out w/ some friends. I got back about 10 minutes ago, and I just tried Brutality again and beat it. Took me a few times, but the constant spreading of that poison wasn't as prevalent. It only showed up once. After I cut the poison, used the vacuum, and healed the cuts I was able to move on w/o seeing anymore clouds. As it should have been several hours ago. I'm pretty sure this was a bug in the game. It had to be, because it isn't there now.

For teka...use the chainsaw on where the link of the handcuffs are connected to the cuffs themselves. It's a bit difficult to notice it, but if you look @ the links, you'll see a small yellow dotted line on the left side.


Argh. Ep 1 is bugged now. The bugs in the final level? Some of them accelerate to the point they flash on the screen for one frame and disappear. You can't fry them.


jocozo3, are you just moving at the speed you normally do after you pick up the pill? You have to move extra slow while you're holding it, or else you'll drop it.

Anonymous March 14, 2008 6:44 AM

On Junk, there's a bug - when you need to replace his ribcage, it shows a piece of glass in the tray rather the the ribcage, but when you insert the glass into the chest it turns into the ribcage. Spooky!


arrghh can't get past first guy in level 1 act 2 in Alan Probe
Poison just takes to long to suck up and spreads to quickly
Anybody got any hints or strategies?


Eddie is seriously screwed up!
The first part works fine. but inside, first the poison takes forever to such up, so it's impossible to not get at least one new outbreak, then the cautarisation is equally slow. So I have to go back and forth between cauterizing and administering a shot of sedative until the time runs out. -BAH- I hate it when bugs like this aren't consequent! (though I prefer it when it they aren't there at all!)


Episode 2 is too hard :(


only just realised this but I think the vacuum only sucks when you mouse is over the red part, move your mouse along with it (a bit like the corkscrew)

Redneck Gal March 14, 2008 11:34 AM

Cut all the poisonous spots, burn & put gel on them, THEN suck all the poison up.. It gets kinda tricky, you have to keep going over the other spots while you are healing one spot at a time but you'll see the dots start popping up & you can catch them before they turn into poison.

firelizard83 March 14, 2008 12:05 PM

My problem with Alan Probe is the guy with the tape worms! There's way not enough time to do it all! I think I've gotten close to finishing a couple times, but he always dies...


How do I beat Karl??? I cant do it

ScarletPoppy March 14, 2008 2:12 PM

I found the first person on Act 2 relatively easy if I remembered that:

You had to cut all the poisoned areas first, then vacumed them asap in order to stop the poison spreading.

On to person 2!


Please tell how to unlock the bum! I tried everything, got a bunch of A`s and a high score even got 100000 on just one patient (Trent in file1). Someone said you need to access the FAQ in game, I can't find it :S I just wanna finish the game please help me!


Well, it's not easy to do but it's simple to understand.

Get 1.000.000 points, and you can get to operating... well i don't want to spoil it for you.

Patreon VIP Chiktionary October 9, 2009 8:43 PM

Link in the review takes you to a different game (Death Vegas) but I think it's fairly easy to find a link to Amateur Surgeon on the same page. Just letting ya know in case you have limited download quotas.

[Edit: I just checked the links, and the links actually take you to a christmas edition of Amateur Surgeon, not Death Vegas. I believe the links are correct. -Jay]

Patreon VIP Chiktionary October 9, 2009 9:10 PM

I can't figure out how to use the corkscrew..!!


I'm On Junk In Act III And Everytime I Try To Remove That Firing Pin Thingy, And It Says 'Too Fast,' And I'm Goin' Slower Than Hell. What The Hell's Goin' On?


this game has been easy and fun so far. But im on Gus on the 3rd file and i know i have to cut the wires in number order but i dont know where to cut!! I kept trying to cut where it said one the screen went red and it made his heart rate drop. PLEASE HELP!!!

judochick95 December 3, 2009 3:31 PM

Can anyone help me with Areola's surgery in the 3rd file? I just can't seem to make it past her heart. The other thing is that I don't know how to work the corkscrew. Even when I hold it down on the heart,it says wrong place.

judochick95 December 3, 2009 10:33 PM

Just wanted to say I finally figured it out. For those of you that haven't, I'll let you in on the secret. When you use the corkscrew with the gel,you have to keep your finger over the red wedge until it says "awesome" or whatever it chooses to say.


Hii :)
Im really stuck on the pimp guy on file 3.
its the gold plate thing can someone write me a step by step guide from there. please :)
much appreciated A x


For anyone who's stuck on Ted the tapeworm, here's what to do:

Zap Ted as many times as you can EACH time he sticks out, NOT just once! I got 3 each time. It's the only way I got him.

Hope this helps :P


Sorry for the double post, but I just got 2 things. I understood the corkscrew, & I beat Bugeater Peter. His heart rate was at 3-4, going back & forth because I was rubbing pain gel rather than cauterizing the slashes from the poison. Anyway, the


saved my-HIS life! I used it 3 times, till he was at 38. Pretty straightforward, if you use it...Hope this helps. :)


Hey. Karl Puccino (say it out loud, you'll get the joke) was fun! Felt like a break from the boring & mundane. Instead of keeping his heart rate UP, I had to keep it DOWN! Also, very simple. Heart rate stayed great, between 28 & 125 BPM. Had 2:14 left as I finished, too. Karl cracks me up! lol


I wanted to just post 1-at-a-time walkthroughs for the whole game, not just the harder stages. Here's my 1st-ever walkthrough:

Bleed is relatively straightforward, though I can't tell you how to get an A. I always get OK on putting the ribcage in. Anyway, take the cutter, cut along the yellow line, get the tongs, & drag the bones to the spots that look the right shape & length. Then, seal him up with the stapler & cauterize. Rub pain gel on it, too. I call the staple-cauterize-gel thing "healing". You just performed surgery on a hobo! Yay!
Gracefuls is simple, too. Actually, easier to get an A on, as I did get A on that. Pull out the glass with tongs, then staple up the big wounds. Cauterize the small wounds, then big ones, & pain gel it up! Cut into his lungs, repeat what I will now call the "extraction process", & get outta there! You're done, & your repertiore should now consist of:
Heal: staple-cauterize-gel
Extract: grab-staple-cauterize-gel

That's all I can do for now, but I'll get back with more walkthrough for you!


I noticed you don't have the walkthrough for the CHRISTMAS EDITION of this game.


I have A's on EVERYTHING in ALL 3 acts, plus secrets. The hardest ones to get an A on was Donny and Act 1 Eddy. The problem with Donny was the staples on the gold bar. You have to put a staple on the "i" obviously, and then you just put a staple in each corner. Eddy in Act 1 to get an A you have to put his health above 90, as you are going through you awesome/great combo, just keep randomly adding a corkscrew and gel every now and then and by the time you get the last piece of the collar off, make sure the health is above 90.


Can anyone tell me how to get past Horrace ... I can't seem to get past the bug nest thing ...maybe I'm stupid but i just can't figure the thing out


I can never find the walkthrough for the game I want by going to jayisgames.com, but try going to a search engine like ask.com, & searching on Amateur Surgeon Christmas walkthrough, discussion, hints, & tips at Jay. I often just type Example Discussion at Jay. Try that:)

some random guy January 3, 2010 12:45 PM

I can't seem to get an A on Meat Sack Jack. I do fine up until I have to replace the lungs; then I can't get all of the lines fast enough. I end up missing some dots if I go too fast. Any tips? (practice isn't an option if I have to replace the kidney each time)

Anonymous January 3, 2010 5:47 PM

ive been following the walkthrough guide for the file 3 aureola but i cant seem to keep her heart rate up, i can make it to the heart but then when you have to burn the fragments of bombs she dies. Can you offer any advice anyone?


I need help getting past Horrace (the last guy on file 1). Its impossible, when you can't miss one ant the entire time?! Is there some kind of code i type in and i can skip threw him? I played it for a week now and can't pass it. Or is there a site that has the game start at File 2?


@ recent JIGuest post about Aureola:
Try using the

Corkscrew. Get it, then the pain gel, then hold down the mouse button while you follow the red box with your mouse.

Hope this helps :P


I'm back with more advice & walkthroughs! Here, I'm starting with Roadkill Cletus.

Cletus is a hillbilly who "Went to pick up this here prickle-pig". Here is Your real problem to deal with, as Alan said: "That porcupine has a hillbilly stuck on its @$$!" Anyway, to business. Take out all the quills the same way you removed the glass from Gracefuls. Then, heal all the cuts. They all need staples besides the lower left one. Cut into his kidneys & repeat what you did on the outside. Heal the outer cut. Now, cut into his liver & do the same thing. Cut into the heart. This is probably where the tension & difficulty come to a peak, since the heart is very sensitive, especially to careless pizza-cutting(which you shouldn't be using anyway). Repeat extraction & get outta that guy's insides! This one was fairly easy to get an A on, 1st time I got a B, 2nd time(when I made this)A!
Your bag of tricks should still be AT LEAST:
-Cutting, though not much of a skill to learn
-Maybe Corkscrewing, you'll start to need it as you go
Anyway, here's Insurance Fraud Claude. He has a system for making money in lawsuits, by abusing himself physically & suing the company for not putting it on the product. He recently shot himself in the chest with a nail-gun & is beginning to regret it. De-nail this guy! First, heal all his cuts on the outside & scan him. There are 2 nails in him at this point. Cut them out, then cut around them to get them out. Use the tongs to pull them out, then cut in. Repeat the healing on his cuts, then get the 4 nails' locations. They're more or less in a square shape. cut them out & tong them(Idon't care if that makes sense). That should be basically it for Claude, who will give you a chainsaw. You will definitely need it later on!
On to Trent Coat, who "was down at the bank, robbing-I mean, making a deposit", then he "slipped & fell on some police bullets!" Operate on the guy, & extinguish his pants, which might be on fire if he keeps this kind of talk up. This is a "Check" level, where the game tests your general skill, & knowledge of the tools & techniques you've learned so far. Heal the 2 big gashes & scan for bullets. Take all 3 out, & get in his colon. Heal the gashes again, scan, & heal the vut you made. Sound familiar, like maybe Claude? Sorry, I can't play through the level all the way again, but basically, repeat this. Please let me know if any of this is wrong.

Hope this helps :P


Hey I was wonderin on ActIII I've killed all the bugs up to the one in his heart the squirpion thing how do I kill it I've tried burnin it shocking it chainsawin it etc...


I don't understand how to get past file 3 on the first person. The bugs dot stop coming out and untried to shock him and his heart rate went all the way to ... Please help me :) thanks

Nicole Hendricks January 11, 2010 9:02 PM

I need help please!!!!! Horace in file one is killing me I don't know what to do when I get to the bug nest I kill the bugs and put out the fires but I font know how to close the nest. I keep zapping bugs up until the time runs out I keep his heart rate fine I just don't know what to do with the nest..having the same problem with ??? In the Xmas version with the nest???? Help!!!


uhggggggg im on horace in the third file and the scorpion just wont die!!!! and i follow him around with the chainsaw and he wont dieee! pleaseee helppp


I'm on Horace in Act 3. I've killed all the scorpions and everything in his lungs. I've looked at him through the etch-n-sketch. I've closed up all cuts. But it doesn't take me out of his lungs! I don't know if I'm missing something or not. I've read walk throughs and they don't really help and aren't really a walk through.... So if anyone knows what I did wrong please help!


how do i beat Junk in Act 3....i get the iron pins out but then nothing happens 9 time just runs out)!!
i wanna beat him so i can move on!


To Shelby:

you need to look closely for the yellow dotted lines that indicate a place to cut

Anonymous January 22, 2010 1:19 AM

help with Horace in file 3

Bug nests need to be zapped with the battery in the orriginal and the tazer in the Christmas version. Also fire bugs, and poison bugs. The scorpions take several hits with the chainsaw, so just keep chasing the queen around till you get her.

If you miss and zap Horace with the battery you will stop his heart!!! Just zap him again to restart his heart at 5bpm and raise the HR with the drill and pain relief (select the drill then pain relief and follow your finger around, repeat until HR is back in the green)


How do you beat junk the second time in the third file

Lacy Isenburg April 3, 2010 11:52 PM

PLEASE HELP!! I cannpt get the eggs out of Bugeater Pete in file 2. I have cut them with the pizza cutter, I have cut them with the chainsaw, i have burned them, I have tried to grab them. I cannot get rid of them! What am I doing wrong????? Help! It is driving me crazy!!!!!

Midnightme56 April 5, 2010 11:33 AM

to get rid of peters spidereggs you tap them with the pizza cutter, drain the poison and fix the cuts.

Midnightme56 April 5, 2010 11:49 AM

Quick walkthrough for Junk file 3

Cut him open and remove the food.
Scan him to see the numbers on the wire things.
Cut the wires in the right order on the yellow lines.
Carefully and slowly take out the white stick things on the cylinders.
Burn the things that say 3a on them.
Seal the cut and your finished!=]

Midnightme56 April 6, 2010 8:48 AM

omg! I need help on Dr Bleed file 3! He always dies or I run out of time! any tips?

Anonymous May 17, 2010 12:27 PM

I can't get past big eating peter on the third file. The joglog always goes to zero when I am zapping the queen spider and her nest plaese help


to unlock the secret ones:

the first one is unlocked when you get your first A (i would suggest redoing the doctor in the first file), which basically means dont make any mistakes & do it fast.
the second i was told that you staple the pimp's nipples but so far it hasnt worked.
& the third one unlocks when you finish all the files completely.

ifp7807 June 1, 2010 11:58 PM

Hello I love this game and im totally obsessed with it but i just cant seem to pass junk in file 3 the one that ate the bomb. i get to the point that i take out all of the food i see the numbers and i start cutting or burning or everything that i have tried and it just dosent let me.. in what part am i supose to cut the cables and with what i dont get it.. PLEASE HELP

makayla June 6, 2010 6:35 PM

I have done pretty good so far but the one i have trouble with is donny the pimp guy haha and i cant seem to staple his metal pimp plate in....

ShadowGod July 6, 2010 4:51 AM

I'm stuck on Peter (2) but every time I get the part where I kill the queen I usually have 1:30 and it's not enough time because the poison wastes to much time. So is there anything I can do to save time.


I need help!! Can someone please tell me wat I'm suppose to do with karl everytime I try and get them things out of his lungs I kill him he's starting to annoy me! Lol


Love this game but having a few problems with peter act 3 can anyone help me out?

cjquines July 24, 2010 8:07 PM

Amateur Surgeon Video Walkthrough:





Note: None of these videos are mine. They belong to their respective owners.

Anonymous August 24, 2010 11:18 AM

What do the letters next to the persons name mean when you have completed the procedure?

Titouille_8.3 November 20, 2010 8:36 AM

About the combination corkscrew/healing cream : what they don't tell is that you have to FOLLOW THE RED BOX with your mouse until it stops, don't let the mouse go.

And then it works...

( http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20080325220959AAazM28 )


How do I beat the pimp guy on file 2? I've put the pimp thing in his ribcage but what do I do after that !?


I can't get past bum! Were do you staple? I only get to the part were you light the hole on fire

Emobabii<3 December 6, 2010 9:03 AM

Ok I'm on the guy that ends the first act and well I was wondering if someone can tell me how to close bug nest because I have this for my ipodtouch and well I really don't know how to close the bug nest :( can someone tell me please?


How do you get past junk in file 3!?!?!
The bomb thingy!? When I try to burn or cut the wires it just hurts him even more. Anyone got any tips? Thx in advance!

Kyla Abello January 5, 2011 7:44 AM

How to beat Eddy:
First you cut him open,find the chips,burn them which usually means for me rubbing fire on body in circles,then there is a chance if you do it accurately,you might get the great score instead of miss.
How to beat Karl:
Man,this guy stashes coffee inside of him! Well,to the works.
First of all,it's really easy to get an A.If you don't get an A,Karl's dead.See,his Jog-Log is Skyrocketing WAAAAAAY high.That means,if you make a SINGLE mistake,Karl crashes,like a computer,then dies.It gets worse.If his Jog-Log reaches around 200,he'll crash! To prevent this,simply use the car battery.Then he'll go up and up again.That depends on how long you can get the coffee outta his hide.

Miguel Fontillas March 17, 2011 8:40 PM

After zapping the bugs, zap the INSIDE of the nest 3 times, then the Queen Ant comes out, zap her once. Do that 3 times. At the third time, after you zap the Queen Ant, four ants come out. Zap them, and you're out.

dionisius June 24, 2011 2:30 PM

it's easier if you use the shorcut button (1,2,3,....,0)
just remember it tough, you don't want to use chainsaw instead vacum


I can't get past the fat guy (Gus??) in act 3!!!
I do everything right, I cut him open, take out
All the food, cut the wires in the right order,
Take out the metal white things at the bottom
Of the wires, burn the fuses THEN nothing happens
And I run out of time :/ HELP!!!!!!

Anonymous October 20, 2011 5:28 PM

I'm in act 3 dealing with gus. Jan someone pls teller where to cut the wires? I've tried cutting every place possible but all I get is a dead patient. Pl. Help me before I go insane !!!!'


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