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Concerned Joe


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Rating: 4.2/5 (76 votes)
Comments (31) | Views (10,216)

joyeConcerned JoeJoe is concerned, and that might just be an underreaction. He's been programmed with a disease called I.H.T.M.O.I.D. ("I have to move or I'll die") by a sadistic game dev narrator who has trapped him in a set of nineteen fiendish puzzle and trap-filled stages, and who won't stop taunting him to boot. It'll take all your platforming talents as well as your brains to get Concerned Joe out of this mess. Featuring fantastic pixel art and design by Xelu and adroit programming by 4ur Entertainment, Concerned Joe is a high difficulty game that provides aesthetic and narrative rewards that are more than worth the effort.

Running and jumping and all that fun stuff are accomplished with the [arrow] keys, and as far as the first play through goes, that's about all you need to know. [M] mutes, [P] pauses, [R] resets (ie kills you), and hitting [Esc] or [backspace] twice takes you to the main menu.

As the disease's name makes clear, you have to move... or you'll die. And unfortunately for Joe, moving very specifically means moving horizontally on tiles. Jumping and moving through the air apparently doesn't qualify as movement. A green tile with a plus sign on it will fully restore your health, whereas white tiles will stop health regen, and red X tiles will kill you outright. There are also tiles you help you jump and many other surprises in store, if you make it that far.

Concerned JoeAnalysis: Some levels require clever thinking, others require hair trigger platforming skills, and still others require a blend of both. Players with slower computers may have difficulty with some of the levels due to their need for both speed and perfection. If you have an older machine, or even if you don't, you might find that keeping tabs and other programs to a minimum makes the game much less frustrating. Concerned Joe absolutely delights in tricking the player, and the game abounds with traps and gotchas that are designed to be found through trial and error, until the game has you so paranoid that you start looking for what would be the stupidest move to make—and then try that first.

The game includes three bonus mini-games that test your stamina at three aspects of the main game: climbing the sticky blocks, maneuvering around moving walkway blocks, and avoiding red death blocks. You can submit your high scores to a table. The main game also has replay value thanks to certain things unlocked by its ending, although unfortunately getting more specific would ruin it.

Portal codified a new genre of game: the narrator who wants to kill you. Concerned Joe's enemy narrator is its strongest asset. Players who mute the game won't know what they're missing. The combination of the superb voice acting and the alternately hilarious and infuriating taunts combine to spur the player on no matter how many times Joe dies. While hearing "Hey grandma, I need you to beat this level for me" when you die just pixels away from safety might set your blood to boiling, the narrator is also the source of some delightful or just plain absurd quips. This can defuse the tension of repeated failures, because cracking a smile helps remind you that it's just a game after all. While the game flirts a little with the offensive ("Only real men can play this stage. If you're a woman you'll never make it."), those lines actually serve to highlight that the narrator himself is a bit of a loser, something that becomes more evident as you approach the ending. Without spoiling it, it's a twist ending that would only be a twist to someone well-versed in the Portalesque tradition of enemy narrator games. How's that for meta?

Play Concerned Joe

Walkthrough Guide


(Please allow page to fully load for spoiler tags to be functional.)

Achievements

  • Most of the achievements don't really require a guide. Just beat the game, start a new one, and you should be able to work out what to do...

    ...because you can fly now. Just replay the game, looking for the shafts in the ceiling. By the way, don't bother to use the garbage chute in the level with the crates on the assembly line. It's an invisible dead end.

  • However, be very cautious of the Maniac badge. I don't think you CAN get it if you beat the game, for the exact same reason. Sorry to say.

Anyway, here is a list of all the achievements:

Impossible

Beat the game, as before.

Once you've beaten the game, use your flying power in the early stages to find the Teleporter.

Then go down the "Secret Tunnel" in the menu, and Teleport past the gate at the end. There are red blocks there, "use" them.

If you can get past them, you'll find the bonus ending, which isn't related to any achievements.

Fabulous

You'll have to beat the game and start a new one to get it. It's in one of the air shafts you pass in the game, near the early-middle.

Maniac

What it says on the tin: Jump 100 times in the Tutorial. Again, I'm not sure if this is possible if you've beaten the game.

Sonic

This is totally feasible without having beaten the game, but I imagine it would make it a lot easier.

Dance Off

Hit the "Dance Music" button.

You'll have to beat the game and start a new one to get it.

Look Silly

You'll get this during the normal course of the game.

Gotcha

Fall onto the red blocks in Level 5, probably because you didn't cross the bridge with jumps.

U Mad

In the level with the disappearing bricks and the branching paths, go left. This will kill you if you haven't beaten the game, mind.

Superhero

Beat the game and use the Secret Tunnel in the bottom right of the main menu.

Jailed

In the level with the falling block you have to out-race, fail to out-race it and then push it onto the block switches. You'll be locked in and have to restart with R.

Cure

Beat the game.

Villain

You'll have to beat the game and start a new one to get it. It's in one of the air shafts you pass in the game, near the end.

31 Comments

"Note: this game auto-saves every time you finish a level, so you can rage quit anytime and continue later."
I love the game already...

Reply

Level 10. Done.

Reply
Anonymous October 10, 2011 7:06 PM

Cant seem to get past level 16, anyone have any tips?

Reply

Fun, simple platformer. Some parts took a couple of retries, but nothing frustrating.

One problem; tiny spoiler in the explanation.

After completing the game and starting 'plus' mode, I backtracked (going 'above' the menu screen) and was soon immobile. Reloaded the game and I still can't move.

Reply

I'm also in favor of the auto-save function, that's handy. Currently stuck on level 10, but I'm coming back later.

Reply

It's a nice game, but the pushing of blocks is just ridiculous. Way too slow, and just requires needless running back and forth to push it anymore. This kind of ruined it for me.

Reply

Also stuck on 16. There seem to be fewer switches than there are gates.

Reply

For 16:

some switches have more than one function

Reply

JIGuest, if you haven't figured it out, for level 16:

You want to obstruct a vertical passage with one of the crates, but not actually push the crate all the way in.

Reply

AWesome game! great laughs :)

Reply
Black Drazon October 10, 2011 11:43 PM

There's no way to beat the, uh...

"Secret Ending"

is there?

Reply

@Black Dragon

you have to have gotten

the teleport upgrade or it is impossible. also, the fan slowly pushes you upward, so plan to be a little lower than you would normally go.

Reply

The voice sounds like Marshall/Jason Siegel from How I Met Your Mother.

Reply
bearharry October 11, 2011 3:08 AM

does anyone know how to get those achievement??

Reply
Billy Nitro October 11, 2011 12:14 PM

Did anyone else play through with the creator commentary on in Portal 2? They said that playtesters hated early versions of the game that basically had GLaDOS insulting you test after test. I can see why. It didn't really add anything to the gameplay for me. On top of that, if a snarky comment is going to be played upon every death, it'd be better to record more than 10 snarky things. Better yet, do it once for each unique death and then never again. It's also a terrible idea to have the antagonist laugh after a death.

That said, I did laugh a couple of times near the end and after getting the secrets. Including the challenging super-secret AWESOME ending was a good idea, and I was akshully interested in the spoils, but unfortunately I dinnae hae the time when I played it. /textwall

Reply

I'm stuck on level 17. Even if I drop down before that block falls, a glitch shoves me back to the top.

Reply

@SkylerF: I had that problem a few times too. Just

keep trying -- try to get the best jump possible when the third bar turns green, and hold right when you're falling in the shaft (but wait a second when you first drop in or you'll go into the first tunnel on the right).

Reply
hothotpot October 11, 2011 4:32 PM

Any ideas on how to get the "Impossible" badge?

Reply
Black Drazon October 11, 2011 5:23 PM

@Thomas:

Yes, I did that. I asked if there was any way to beat it. I was already there, and was suffering through the lag involved in the final sequence until it became unbearable. I was just wondering if there was any way to

actually beat Bowser, his army, or whatever.

Because I couldn't find a way.

Reply
Black Drazon October 11, 2011 5:38 PM

Achievements

  • Most of the achievements don't really require a guide. Just beat the game, start a new one, and you should be able to work out what to do...

    ...because you can fly now. Just replay the game, looking for the shafts in the ceiling. By the way, don't bother to use the garbage chute in the level with the crates on the assembly line. It's an invisible dead end.

  • However, be very cautious of the Maniac badge. I don't think you CAN get it if you beat the game, for the exact same reason. Sorry to say.

Anyway, here is a list of all the achievements:

Impossible

Beat the game, as before.

Once you've beaten the game, use your flying power in the early stages to find the Teleporter.

Then go down the "Secret Tunnel" in the menu, and Teleport past the gate at the end. There are red blocks there, "use" them.

If you can get past them, you'll find the bonus ending, which isn't related to any achievements.

Fabulous

You'll have to beat the game and start a new one to get it. It's in one of the air shafts you pass in the game, near the early-middle.

Maniac

What it says on the tin: Jump 100 times in the Tutorial. Again, I'm not sure if this is possible if you've beaten the game.

Sonic

This is totally feasible without having beaten the game, but I imagine it would make it a lot easier.

Dance Off

Hit the "Dance Music" button.

You'll have to beat the game and start a new one to get it.

Look Silly

You'll get this during the normal course of the game.

Gotcha

Fall onto the red blocks in Level 5, probably because you didn't cross the bridge with jumps.

U Mad

In the level with the disappearing bricks and the branching paths, go left. This will kill you if you haven't beaten the game, mind.

Superhero

Beat the game and use the Secret Tunnel in the bottom right of the main menu.

Jailed

In the level with the falling block you have to out-race, fail to out-race it and then push it onto the block switches. You'll be locked in and have to restart with R.

Cure

Beat the game.

Villain

You'll have to beat the game and start a new one to get it. It's in one of the air shafts you pass in the game, near the end.

Reply

The level with the descending walljump walls is not happening for me.

Reply

The performance wasn't good enough for the required response times. Seriously, one of the *slowest* Flash games I've ever played, and I play a =lot=.

Reply
Wildbreeze October 20, 2011 10:11 PM

Oh, how I hate glitches. I'm absolutely stuck on level 17, because as soon as the voice stops talking, the box at the top disappears. :( I really wanted to finish this game...

Reply
DDDragoni October 22, 2011 6:43 PM

On level 17, the box vanishes when the guy is talking to me... any tips?

Reply

About the box disappearing glitch ^

My apologies about that, we added a fix that..somehow broke the boxes on both levels 16 and 17. I believe I've fixed it on the latest version which can be found on Newgrounds.

Reply

can someone tell me how to get to the mario level?

Reply
Anonymous November 4, 2011 1:58 PM

what level is the dance button on?

Reply
new to games November 7, 2011 4:16 PM

Found an easter egg.

where it says 'run forrest run' wait a while and instead of the first 'run' a message will appear. Follow the instructions for you easter egg surprise.

Anyone found any more?

Reply

where's the dance music button?

Reply

I'm stuck in level 17, does anyone have tips ?

Reply

Level 11 anyone? I'm stuck on the "Think Clever Feel Clever" part
Thanks!

Reply

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