[Dear Reader: Some visual aspects of this game may potentially induce motion sickness, so please be aware if you have a tendency to be susceptible to that. Love, Dora.]
Cheer up, emo bot. K.O.L.M.I.A.M. is less a direct sequel and more of a spiritual successor to the original sad little robot game, K.O.L.M. Instead of trying to please mother and embarking on a quest guaranteed to lower your overall cheerfulness by at least six points, K.O.L.M.I.A.M. is a series of mini adventures, challenging puzzle-ish platforming sequences to be completed in under a minute flat.
For those of you who didn't play the original, K.O.L.M. is a little robot who lives in an extremely hazardous place, and who initially can't do much of anything except walk around. You'll need to acquire the power-ups necessary for each level to perform even simple tasks like jumping, or shoot lasers to open doors. Move with the [WASD] or [arrow] keys, and [R] to restart the level or [P] to go to the level select screen. Touch an enemy or hazard and you'll respawn at the last point you entered the current area. Since you only have sixty seconds to complete any given level, they're all rather small, but that doesn't mean you can drag your feet about it. Run out of time and you'll explode. Well, I mean, K.O.L.M. will explode. Not you. It's not like I put explosives under your chair or anything. That would be not okay at all and a sign of a structurally unsound mind, I imagine! Heh, heh... *twitch*
There are some issues, of course. The disappearing platforms seem rather picky about how you land on them. Respawning seems to take unreasonably long given the time restraints, which means that overshooting a platform and executing a perfect swan-dive right into a set of spikes can essentially force another reload on some levels that require perfect timing. For me the most frustrating part was actually the slowly tilting depth perspective, which didn't succeed so much in impressing or challenging me as it did make me more-than-mildly motion sick. (A feat not accomplished since Secret of Evermore back in 1995. No, I don't know why either.) What this means is that I actually didn't make it past stage 18 before I had to go lay down with a pillow over my head. While the difficulty begins to ramp up after the first few stages, the initial batch of 20 levels probably won't take you long to blow through, and then it's on to challenge mode.
Whether you enjoy K.O.L.M.I.A.M. largely comes down to how much you like platforming, and how much of your enjoyment of the original came from the mildly depressing but intriguing storyline. This time, can you complete a demanding set of time trials?... oh, yeah? W-well... How about while on a conveyor belt? Underwater? And unable to jump? Oh? Well, would you, could you, on a train? On a plane? With a fox? In a box?! Huh? What then, smartypants?!